What a Day

As I sit in my relatively chilly, concrete box of an apartment, I can't help but to feel a bit sentimental.

Sunday. I'm pretty sure this week it should have been renamed to sensitive day. This morning one of my friends preached at church (did a kicker of a job at that!) and there was a part in his sermon where he did nothing but stress the fact that God will provide.

I graduate in 5 days with no job.
Needless to say stress levels, emotions, and frustrations are high.
But...

God will provide.
Three words that I have heard so often but don't seem to take seriously.

I've turned in what seems like countless applications and have heard the "Thanks for your work but..." just about as much. But I know that God will provide, I just need to keep looking. I don't know what God has in store for me for my coming job. A scary thought, but I need to keep the faith.

It was the last GIFT tonight too.

All of the seniors lined up in front of the BJ Haan. People who I had grown so close with greeted me with tight hugs and heartfelt prayers. I tried my best not to cry, but all hope for that was lost when I saw the red, welling eyes of my peers smiling back at me.

I will be honest, there have been times where I questioned why I came to this college. It's expensive, extremely conservative, and in the middle of nowhere. But then it's nights like tonight where I remember the community. When one creates relationships as strong as the ones I've made over the years concerns of money, politics, and location seem to melt away.

Done

Music of my alarm rang out this morning and as my eyes opened the only thing on my mind was the fact that my student teaching experience was about to come to a close.

My carpool and I trekked our way down the never ending IA country roads that led us to our final day. Our final day of working with our students. Our final day of lesson plans (well for now). Our final day at Rock Valley Community School.

I opened the heavy, library door and walked into the ESL room. Stuffing my bag into the cupboard I figured this day would be like any other, I didn't expect anything special, my goal was to finish.

As I sat preparing for the non-existent lessons I had for the day CT popped in and we began talking. She asked me how I felt, what I had planned for after graduation, etc...Soon my student came and she stepped out for a bit, only to come back minutes later with a bowl full of snack mix and a Tupperware full of cookies. That's not where the surprises ended though. She left a second time and brought with her a brown colored gift bag decorated with sparkly dots and stripes. I couldn't help but smile.

I opened my package and inside lay a plack with the word "Hope" painted on it in cursive letters. Underneath it read Choose to see through the optimistic eyes. My smile widened and my heart was warmed.

The rest of the day consisted of games with students, a pizza lunch, and hugs...I have to admit, I will miss the sounds of broken English voices :).

Overall I would say that my experiences as an education student and student teacher have been positive. Despite the frustrations and tears that went along with it, I know that if I could do it all over again I think I would.

For those of you considering education...

It's not easy, despite what the rumors may be.

You will be judged both fairly and unfairly, 

You will need to be almost contortionist-like in order to get through some of the hoops you need to jump through.

But don't give up it will be worth it.

You will get stressed.
You will get exhausted.

But you will come out stronger and more prepared because of it.

Don't take every snippy thing your students say to you to heart.

Most of the time they don't mean it,

Plus, their frontal lobes aren't fully developed anyways.

But enforce respect.
You deserve it.

Most importantly,

Love your students.
They may need it more than you think.

A Case of the Mondays

So begins the first day of my last week of student teaching. It's kind of a mix of a lot of feelings really. Excitement, relief, concern for the future, calm, and exhaustion, I know I'm a girl but even most girls don't have that many emotions at one time.

School is out for the day and I'm sitting with my middle school boys in the library as they read their way to their AR (accelerated reader) goals. It's been an interesting day overall, I suppose. In all honesty I really haven't done a whole lot, it's my last week so I'm pretty much out of the classroom. I'm still teaching our elementary group in the morning though, which is fun. I introduced them to the concept of board-races, a game that many of my teachers played when I was younger.

Basically there are two people up at the board at a time and they race to write down the answer first. We play it where I say a word and they have to write down whether it has a short vowel or long vowel sound. I played it with them once and now they can't get enough. Wait...does this mean learning can be fun?

I heard back from Worthington today...another rejection.
I will admit I'm disappointed, it would have been a sweet job.
But God has a plan, something else will come up.

Peaceful Days and Interview Praise

There's something about today that really has given me a sense of calm. Maybe its the way the rain paints lines across my window, or how it dances softly on my roof. All I know for sure is that for some reason today is a day of serenity.

Even my 7th grade boys were low-key.

I know it's been about a week or so since I've blogged, but in all honesty there isn't much to tell. I finished up my full-time student teaching portion of my session and am currently on the downhill slope. My days are relatively simple now. In the actual classroom I teach an elementary group in the morning and then I move on to small groups in the library throughout the day. It's a nice way to slowly fade out from my position.

On Monday I'll meet with my supervisor one last time to go over my assignments and professional portfolio. It's weird to think that I'll be done after next week, I will admit I am ready though. The possibility of having my own classroom some day excites me!

In other news...

I had an interview up in Worthington, MN the other day and I think it went well. It was kind of an interesting experience getting there though. Highway 60 was closed so I got to play the "blindly-find-the-school" game. Luckily I had the principal's number and she was more than happy to lead me out of the dark. Getting lost was kind of a blessing though. Down each residential area I drove I noticed that the amount of Caucasian people were few to none. My small-town (turns out there's actually about 11-12,000 people there), Midwest assumptions that I had about this school were shattered. Excitement grew inside me.

I finally made it and the principal (we'll call her Principal E) walked out and greeted me with a smile. Being that we had a good chunk of time before the actual interview was scheduled, we hopped in her car and she gave me a tour. She told me that Worthington was the second most diverse city in the whole state of Minnesota. It was kind of funny because she said that she went with her daughter to a track meet in a relatively white area and her daughter asked, "Mom, where are all the black kids?" My excitement swelled even more. As we continued our tour I could immediately tell that a good majority of the city was on a lower socioeconomic scale. Principal E told me that when she started teaching at the school many of her students were on a free lunch plan. After hearing this I was eve more thrilled at what this job possibility might hold.

We made our way back and she gave me a tour around the school. It's a small building and all classes are split. If I get hired I will be teaching mainly 5/6, some 7/8, as well as 3/4. The board members came and we all made our way to the library. It was kind of strange because throughout the whole experience I really wasn't that nervous at all, which is a blessing in itself. After about an hour our time together was complete. Principal E walked me to the door and, with a handshake and a smile, we said our goodbyes.

I won't know for sure if I have the job until next week, but I know it is one that I would love to have. Being a minority for once and working with such a diverse (not only in ethnicity) group of students would be great. But if it's not meant to be, then I know God has something else planned. One of my roommates even said "If nothing else, at least it's practice!"

I'll keep you posted

Lessons Learned This Week:
-Interviews really aren't that scary, all you need is confidence.
-It's important to keep a good sense of humor with students.

Goals for Next Week:
-Finish strong.

True Love

This entry is not about student teaching, this entry is not about me, this entry is about the person who made the ultimate sacrifice.

Thursday night, 5:45 to be exact. I traveled with my roommates and a few friends to a church a few miles away from school for a Maudy Thursday service. (For those of you who are unfamiliar with Maundy Thursday, it is a remembrance of when Jesus broke bread with his disciples before he was crucified.) It was Lutheran church, much more conservative than what I am used to. The pastor had a white collar and I think about 75% of the congregation was over the age of 65. I wasn't really sure what to expect from this service.

The sanctuary was small with streams of color protruding from stain glassed windows. We sat in cushioned pews and an illuminated cross hung before us on the wall. Music began to flood out of an organ and songs spilled from our lips as we sang from a green colored hymnal. The pastor told us to be seated and he began his sermon. My eyes began to wander as he preached about the Last Supper. They bounced around until they saw a banner of Jesus with a small child. Any other night I wouldn't of have had a second thought about it. After all, it's a church, pictures of Jesus are everywhere. But for some reason this was different. The way He was looking at this child, it was as if they were having a discussion. I soon wondered, what would it have been like to talk with Him?

I couldn't stop looking at it. My mind was filled with pictures and possibilities of discussions that Jesus and I would have. What did His voice sound like? If He took my hand I bet his hand would be soft but strong, comforting and secure. If I hugged him how tightly would he hug back? Did he really look like the European idea that all of the pictures give us or would he be more middle Eastern? (My guess was always the latter). If I could talk with Him before the night he was nailed up on Golgotha, what would I say? Would there be words or would we sit shoulder to shoulder with the same worried thoughts going through our minds?

I switched my glance back to the pastor and before I knew it a wooden cross was standing up by the pulpit. Black cloths covered both it and the tables. My eyes bounced back to the picture of my savior.

He died so that I may live...so that everyone may live.

There are no words.

It's All About the Attitude

Well I'm working with high schoolers and junior highers...it was bound to happen eventually.

So CT and I have this student in our beginner's class who pretty much thinks he owns the moon (I'm not writing this post to bash him...that would be dumb). He's a good kid, he really is but his attitude could use some work. Next week is my full week of teaching and CT mentioned it to them during 4th period. I was elsewhere at the time, but CT told me his reaction. He threw his hands up in the air and made a disgusted noise. Now keep in mind he did it as a joke and I realize that, but still disrespectful nonetheless. I am the teacher, he is the student and that will be clear.

So I took him aside and we had a calm chat. It's always kind of funny at first when I ask students to come talk to me. They kind of freeze for a second at first and get either a deer-in-the-headlights or the "OMG she knows something" look (I mean c'mon, I'm a relatively small person...how scary can I be?). He was kind of quiet and apathetic during class but I think he got the message.

 I can't say I like working with secondary kids any less though, they're still a kick :).

On to something completely unrelated...

I leave you with a Bible passage from Matthew 6. We went over it in Sunday school last week and it really made me think about two things. First worrying is pointless and really does nothing but make people sick. Second, to think about what other "gods" I'm putting my faith in besides the one true God.

Read it, think about it, and have a fabulous weekend! 

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy,your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!
No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.

Do Not Worry

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

 Lessons Learned this Week:
-Not every student will like me.
-Patience is a virtue.

Goals for Next Week:
-Be super awesome at teaching ESL full-time for the first part of the week.
-Enjoy my upcoming 5 day weekend!