Run

It wasn't until recently that I truly discovered the joy that it is to run. Granted, my positivity about doing so isn't always there. AVH and AW can attest to the fact that I've had my fair share of complaints about the activity when we go out for our jogs. But deep down, I know there's something freeing about it.

Ask me about my opinion of the sport a year or two ago, I'd probably smirk. It was a punishment in the activities I had participated in, so why would I do it for fun?

Fast forward to today.

To say the least my week has not been easy. The weight of heavy thoughts. Lack of sleep. Students causing problems. Discussions with parents. (Though, compared to that of the bombings in Boston, my week has been fabulous.) All enough to make me burst at the seams. I could feel pent up energy and adrenaline pulsating it's way through my body. For the first time in a while I looked forward to running my 3ish miles.

I began.

My feet tapping the pavement.
Legs getting stiff
Heart pounding.
Breathing getting heavy.

I always wondered what my face looked like to the cars passing by...meh, who said running had to be attractive.

My thoughts soon moved to everything that brought me down this week.

I ran harder.

Each word that was said.
Each action that was done.

I ran harder.

All I wanted to do was to keep running.
Let it go.
I felt a sense of freedom.
I kept telling myself, The more you run the farther away the worries will be.

Running, running, running.

And turn.

My journey back began.

Despite a painful side-ache or two on my return, I did it. As I slowed to my cool-down I could feel the endorphins exploding inside my head.

To be blessed with such a marvelous ability to move is overwhelming.
A gift that I know I truly take for granted.

Uncontrolled Circumstances

I've been meaning to write about this for a while, I suppose I just couldn't figure out the proper wording for such a post.

As many (if not all) of you know I live in Saipan. A tropical island that sits approximately 155 miles away from Guam. Yes Guam. A target in the eyes of a war empowered, North Korean leader who is trying to prove himself.

It's strange to think such a thing could happen so close. I didn't realize the seriousness of it all until my mom sent me a message about it a couple weeks ago. Good Friday to be exact. Without a television one has the ability to lose touch with what's going on in the world (though sometimes Facebook has all the news you need). Yet, through it all I have found no reason to worry. No anxiety about what "might" happen. A simple "This too shall pass" feeling.

Let's go back to Good Friday.

My body rested on a stiff church pew, my whole being emotionally exhausted from the day. In my mind whirled news articles, pictures, what have you. The concern of my family back home and how there was absolutely no way that I could tell them for sure that everything would be alright. All I could say was that God's got this. I suddenly blinked back to reality. My eyes panned around the sanctuary, people were still worshiping and praising God.

Despite the possibility of an over looming tragedy, people rejoiced. Despite the terrifying news feeds, people went on with life as usual. It was as if this whole thing, in that moment, was nothing. Our tiny island was focused in the moment, not what might come.

Now I've heard it from both sides, some don't think it's a big deal (almost an empty threat if you will) while other's watch their news tickers like hawks.

I choose to take it a day at a time. I don't look at the papers much, or watch things about it. Occasionally my friends and I will joke about it, like maybe we'll escape to a neighboring (unthreatened) country or something. Sometimes humor is the best in heavy situations.

What has kept me sane though is my faith.

I know I serve the God who holds my life in His hands. He knows my future and what is to come. There is no sense for me to worry about the unknown when I know that He has it under control. What will happen is going to happen (whether or not that includes nuclear warfare). There is nothing I can do so why try to control what I cannot?

This verse has been swimming its way through the lines of my thoughts lately:
"But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you"
-Matthew 5:44

It's times like this when all we can do is pray. Pray for the leader in North Korea. Pray for the people of North Korea. Pray to ease the pain of worry that bubbles up in our hearts when we deal with the unknown. Pray for wisdom. Pray for strength. Just pray.

I don't know what is going to happen. I don't know when. I don't know where. But I do know, that I want you to know I'm alright. We're alright. God will bring peace, not matter the circumstance.