Alright, so the topic of this blog was inevitable.
Without further ado, my "I am thankful for..." list.
I am thankful for...
-The fact that I can worship God freely without fear of persecution (or execution for that matter).
-My family.
-Supportive parents I am close to who have high expectations.
-A sister and brother-in-law who I can talk about anything with.
-The consistent knowledge of where my next meal will come from.
-My job.
-A high metabolism. (It's a blessing and a curse, but I am thankful for it either way.)
-My Saipan family.
-Friends.
-All the teachers I have had who cared and pushed me to be better than my best.
-A bed with a pillow, sheets, and a blanket to sleep on.
-Clothes.
-A car.
-Socks. (Being a person who always has cold feet, socks are a must!)
-Shoes.
-A refrigerator.
-Financial stability.
-Good health.
The list is endless.
Amongst the discontentment that sneaks its way into my life, I need to remind myself how truly fortunate I am. Approximately 80% of the world lives on less than $10 a day, I am overwhelmingly blessed to be part of the 20% who is secure.
"Give thanks to the Lord for He is good; His love endures forever."
-Psalm 107:1
Happy Thanksgiving!
Thursday, November 28, 2013
Sunday, October 27, 2013
Every Tongue Confess
I am a lover of languages. I always have been and always will. I remember when I was in preschool quite a few of my classmates were Asian and would speak in their native tongues to each other. The different intonations and sounds intrigued me. Although I had no idea what they were saying, it fascinated me that they could communicate to each other in different way (almost like a secret code if you will.)
If I had the time (and money) I would learn every possible language. After all, what better way is there to communicate than verbal? Having the ability to simply switch languages when necessary is a gift many have, but not all appreciate. In my current classroom I have kids who range from mono- to over trilingual. There have been times in class when my students will say "Ms. Jameson talk in your other language." I'll teach for a little bit in Spanish, but apologize and continue with a response of "English is really my only language."
Lately I have found that languages move me most when incorporated into worship songs.
One of my friends recently showed me a world edition of How Great is Our God.
Watch it.
Watch it again.
There are no words
Having the ability to see different brothers and sisters worshiping Christ in their heart languages is overwhelming. I think sometimes I personally forget that English is not the only appropriate translation for these songs.
Seeing people bursting and belting out words in a tongue so beautifully unfamiliar is something that I can't help but get choked up about. It reminds me that even though they live so far away, God's presence is still within their country. No matter if Christianity has been outlawed or not, God is still there. He fills the heart of people and gives them the freedom to sing even if they don't have it.
How great our God is.
If I had the time (and money) I would learn every possible language. After all, what better way is there to communicate than verbal? Having the ability to simply switch languages when necessary is a gift many have, but not all appreciate. In my current classroom I have kids who range from mono- to over trilingual. There have been times in class when my students will say "Ms. Jameson talk in your other language." I'll teach for a little bit in Spanish, but apologize and continue with a response of "English is really my only language."
Lately I have found that languages move me most when incorporated into worship songs.
One of my friends recently showed me a world edition of How Great is Our God.
Watch it.
Watch it again.
There are no words
Having the ability to see different brothers and sisters worshiping Christ in their heart languages is overwhelming. I think sometimes I personally forget that English is not the only appropriate translation for these songs.
Seeing people bursting and belting out words in a tongue so beautifully unfamiliar is something that I can't help but get choked up about. It reminds me that even though they live so far away, God's presence is still within their country. No matter if Christianity has been outlawed or not, God is still there. He fills the heart of people and gives them the freedom to sing even if they don't have it.
How great our God is.
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
When I'm 24
On Tuesday October 8, 2013 the numbers of my age changed from 23 to 24.
Not a huge leap, in fact it's times like this where I've come to realize that the importance of birthday celebrations has gone downhill.
At 15 I got my permit.
At 16 I got my license.
At 18 I morphed from a minor to an "adult."
At 21 alcohol beverages became an option.
Anything after has just become another birthday.
If I were to look back 10 years and compare my current living situation to what I had anticipated my life would be like, the result is relatively laughable. (I mean that in good spirit).
When I was 14, 24 looked like that following...
I'd be married.
I'd have a high-paying job.
I'd have a house.
I'd have a kid.
The typical American dream panned out in a preteen fantasy.
Though I haven't accomplished any of the above (for a few of those ideals, it's probably best that I haven't), I am happy to say that within those ten years of dreaming I've gained much needed wisdom and experience.
I'm not married and I don't know when I will be. However, through the dating relationships I have had, I've learned the importance of give and take, communication, respect, you name it. Qualities and knowledge that will help me to be better prepared for when I do join my life with my future husband.
I don't have a high paying job. In fact, I'm probably the poorest I've ever been. Yet, in all honesty, I'm glad my pay check is small. Though the first year was rough, I would not trade my current profession for the world. As a teacher I have received so much undeserved love. Every sweaty, post recess hug. Every handmade drawing. Every moment when I see a kid's eyes light-up because he or she finally understands something. There is nothing I can compare it to.
I don't have a kid. I have fourteen, more if you count the other ones outside of my class that I've gotten to know well. It's strange how maternal I become to each of my students. There are still times when I can't believe that I can control over 10 kids at one time. Yet with each victory and failure, stomachache and fever, I treat these kids as if they were my own.
I praise God for the life He has given me. Though it may not have turned out the way I had wanted when I was 14, it became what I needed at 24.
Here's to another 10 years.
Not a huge leap, in fact it's times like this where I've come to realize that the importance of birthday celebrations has gone downhill.
At 15 I got my permit.
At 16 I got my license.
At 18 I morphed from a minor to an "adult."
At 21 alcohol beverages became an option.
Anything after has just become another birthday.
If I were to look back 10 years and compare my current living situation to what I had anticipated my life would be like, the result is relatively laughable. (I mean that in good spirit).
When I was 14, 24 looked like that following...
I'd be married.
I'd have a high-paying job.
I'd have a house.
I'd have a kid.
The typical American dream panned out in a preteen fantasy.
Though I haven't accomplished any of the above (for a few of those ideals, it's probably best that I haven't), I am happy to say that within those ten years of dreaming I've gained much needed wisdom and experience.
I'm not married and I don't know when I will be. However, through the dating relationships I have had, I've learned the importance of give and take, communication, respect, you name it. Qualities and knowledge that will help me to be better prepared for when I do join my life with my future husband.
I don't have a high paying job. In fact, I'm probably the poorest I've ever been. Yet, in all honesty, I'm glad my pay check is small. Though the first year was rough, I would not trade my current profession for the world. As a teacher I have received so much undeserved love. Every sweaty, post recess hug. Every handmade drawing. Every moment when I see a kid's eyes light-up because he or she finally understands something. There is nothing I can compare it to.
I don't have a kid. I have fourteen, more if you count the other ones outside of my class that I've gotten to know well. It's strange how maternal I become to each of my students. There are still times when I can't believe that I can control over 10 kids at one time. Yet with each victory and failure, stomachache and fever, I treat these kids as if they were my own.
I praise God for the life He has given me. Though it may not have turned out the way I had wanted when I was 14, it became what I needed at 24.
Here's to another 10 years.
Saturday, August 10, 2013
This is No Paradise
When I say I live on an island, what would come to your mind first?
Palm trees?
White sand beaches?
Drinking out of a coconut?
Tropical fish swimming to and fro?
Tanning yourself into an early stage of melanoma?
How about drug use?
Teen pregnancy?
Poverty?
Robbery?
Rape?
Domestic violence?
Before I go on, let me be the first to say that I really do love my island home. I have never felt in danger or at risk whilst living here. Instead I feel engulfed in a community of love and support. I live not in fear here, but with a use of caution. (Basically just don't make stupid life choices and you should have no problem).
Though, tonight caused some of us to be quite shaken up.
In back of my living quarters is a park. Well, by day it's a park. By night it's a mass of land that many of us try to avoid. From drug deals, to sex, to what happened tonight: abuse.
From the inside of my sealed apartment all I heard was a prolonged horn honk and the piercing screech of tires. From those who witnessed the violence, a more blood boiling story occurred.
O told me that apparently there were loud noises (as if to be a bat bashing itself up against something) and voices were coming from said location. Many gathered at the back fence to see what the commotion was about. Soon a female's voice was heard.
"Why are you hurting me?"
"Why are you doing this to me?"
It was as if the words coming out of her mouth were a broken record.
The noises continued.
Soon tires screeched and the voices stopped.
Hearing such things gave me (and still does give me) an eerie, livid feeling.
(Again, keep in mind I heard it second hand, so some details may be missing)
O continued with saying that JW and R went to check everything out once the abuser and abused had departed.
Cement bricks lay freshly smashed into pieces on the ground.
Perhaps you're wondering, "Well where was the police in all of this? Someone should have called them!"
As everything happened a phone was picked up, the appropriate digits were dialed, and the anticipation of the police's arrival grew.
They never came.
An irreplaceable human life being damaged by another person happening right before our eyes and all we can do is watch as her bruises grow.
Sometimes I forget how broken we as people (not just here, but everywhere) really are.
Please pray.
For the island
For its people
For the human race
Things like this don't just go away.
Palm trees?
White sand beaches?
Drinking out of a coconut?
Tropical fish swimming to and fro?
Tanning yourself into an early stage of melanoma?
How about drug use?
Teen pregnancy?
Poverty?
Robbery?
Rape?
Domestic violence?
Before I go on, let me be the first to say that I really do love my island home. I have never felt in danger or at risk whilst living here. Instead I feel engulfed in a community of love and support. I live not in fear here, but with a use of caution. (Basically just don't make stupid life choices and you should have no problem).
Though, tonight caused some of us to be quite shaken up.
In back of my living quarters is a park. Well, by day it's a park. By night it's a mass of land that many of us try to avoid. From drug deals, to sex, to what happened tonight: abuse.
From the inside of my sealed apartment all I heard was a prolonged horn honk and the piercing screech of tires. From those who witnessed the violence, a more blood boiling story occurred.
O told me that apparently there were loud noises (as if to be a bat bashing itself up against something) and voices were coming from said location. Many gathered at the back fence to see what the commotion was about. Soon a female's voice was heard.
"Why are you hurting me?"
"Why are you doing this to me?"
It was as if the words coming out of her mouth were a broken record.
The noises continued.
Soon tires screeched and the voices stopped.
Hearing such things gave me (and still does give me) an eerie, livid feeling.
(Again, keep in mind I heard it second hand, so some details may be missing)
O continued with saying that JW and R went to check everything out once the abuser and abused had departed.
Cement bricks lay freshly smashed into pieces on the ground.
Perhaps you're wondering, "Well where was the police in all of this? Someone should have called them!"
As everything happened a phone was picked up, the appropriate digits were dialed, and the anticipation of the police's arrival grew.
They never came.
An irreplaceable human life being damaged by another person happening right before our eyes and all we can do is watch as her bruises grow.
Sometimes I forget how broken we as people (not just here, but everywhere) really are.
Please pray.
For the island
For its people
For the human race
Things like this don't just go away.
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Subway Musings
I never went to Subway all that much until I moved to Saipan.
It's not that I didn't enjoy said restaurant, I did, I guess it never really crossed my mind to go to a sub shop when my stomach had the hunger gurgles. I mean if you think about it when given the choice of pizza or a sandwich I have to be honest, I'd rather have a big, greasy slice of pepperoni instead of turkey on wheat.
Since my return from Thailand I have frequented this food source a couple times (thanks to a gift card I found from a former student...Ahhhh YEAH) and let me tell you, each time I return is always an experience.
As I slowly open the glass door in order to enter said restaurant I am greeted with a familiar, and relatively obnoxious tune that rings at an unsettling volume. Such a jingle has been stuck in my head multiple times before with minimal ways of getting out.
Onward into the line I step as I watch sandwich artists carefully piece each creation together. I give my order and my friendly Subway worker takes it and runs. He slices open the bread and fashions the meats, cheeses, vegetables, and condiments in such a way the most talented of sculptors would be proud. Down the line it goes until its wrapped in its name brand packaging and ready to be consumed.
Such an experience kind of makes me think of the creation of people. God gives us a body, think of that as the bread. A simple canvas to go off of. Though we all come in different shapes and sizes, a good majority of us have the same basic frame. But soon he molds us into completely different and original masterpieces. Thus comes the veggies, cheese, what have you. If you think about it, no two people are the exact same...even identical twins. The amount of creativity that our maker has is unfathomable. It still baffles me how he can come up with billions of different faces and features for billions of different people. At last he wraps us, not in Subway paper, but his arms. Arms of protection, love, and saving grace. That is, if we let him.
A funny, and rather unconventional way to look at it I suppose.
I'm really glad he doesn't send us off to be eaten...cannibalism can be fatal.
It's not that I didn't enjoy said restaurant, I did, I guess it never really crossed my mind to go to a sub shop when my stomach had the hunger gurgles. I mean if you think about it when given the choice of pizza or a sandwich I have to be honest, I'd rather have a big, greasy slice of pepperoni instead of turkey on wheat.
Since my return from Thailand I have frequented this food source a couple times (thanks to a gift card I found from a former student...Ahhhh YEAH) and let me tell you, each time I return is always an experience.
As I slowly open the glass door in order to enter said restaurant I am greeted with a familiar, and relatively obnoxious tune that rings at an unsettling volume. Such a jingle has been stuck in my head multiple times before with minimal ways of getting out.
Onward into the line I step as I watch sandwich artists carefully piece each creation together. I give my order and my friendly Subway worker takes it and runs. He slices open the bread and fashions the meats, cheeses, vegetables, and condiments in such a way the most talented of sculptors would be proud. Down the line it goes until its wrapped in its name brand packaging and ready to be consumed.
Such an experience kind of makes me think of the creation of people. God gives us a body, think of that as the bread. A simple canvas to go off of. Though we all come in different shapes and sizes, a good majority of us have the same basic frame. But soon he molds us into completely different and original masterpieces. Thus comes the veggies, cheese, what have you. If you think about it, no two people are the exact same...even identical twins. The amount of creativity that our maker has is unfathomable. It still baffles me how he can come up with billions of different faces and features for billions of different people. At last he wraps us, not in Subway paper, but his arms. Arms of protection, love, and saving grace. That is, if we let him.
A funny, and rather unconventional way to look at it I suppose.
I'm really glad he doesn't send us off to be eaten...cannibalism can be fatal.
Monday, July 29, 2013
People
I will be the first to admit I'm not always a very talkative person. There are times when I'd much rather sit, listen, and take all of the moment in instead of speak. (One of my classmates in third grade actually asked if I knew how to talk...but that's a whole different story.) Though the awkward silence does make some of the people I'm around uncomfortable at times, I use it to my advantage.
Observation is an action I've come to live by and such an action has helped me conjure up a theory about the nature of the human race. Though all different physically, mentally, socially, and the like, the art of influence doesn't surpass any of us. Our actions, thoughts, sayings, etc...can be affected by those we spend the most time around.
Lets first take a look at dating/married relationships (keep in mind this is all an idea of my own and not scientifically proven). Bob wants to date someone who doesn't want to change him and accepts him for him (good job Bob, you know you deserve respect and are comfortable with who you are). However, what Bob doesn't realize is that unbeknownst to him, by simply dating his significant other, he will be changed. Though it may not be severe, some sort of metamorphosis will take place. He will learn things from this relationship that may cause him to change the way he does certain things. Whether its actions, timing, scheduling, what have you...something about dear Bob will be different. Now if Bob were to marry his dear love, an even bigger change will have to take place.
I personally have never been married, but I take the next few thoughts from observation. What I've noticed is that when a couple gets married they need to make many changes. Married life in itself is an adjustment, but on top of that you have all the little quirks that you have to get used to from your new husband or wife. Thus giving a possibility for the need to change in order to tolerate such things (both good and bad).
Moving on to friendships. I've been told many times that we become like the five people we spend the most time around. (In the whole scheme of things this can be both a terrifying and wonderful thought.) Thus tying into my first point, we will always be subconsciously changing base on the people we spend time with. Personally I've found that when I talk with my friends or just people in general (especially those with different accents or dialects) I kind of start talking like them. It's not something I notice, but it just happens. A subconscious change. I've also found that based on my friends' needs there may be things I need to do that need to be altered. Granted that may be argued as a possible conscious change...but that's a discussion for another day.
How about Christians? As a Christian I've found that there are multiple life changes that need to be made, most of which are conscious. Simply believing that Jesus is your Lord as and savior isn't enough (though, it is a huge factor). No, one needs to build a relationship with God. I can't tell you how many changes that in itself will create in your life. Namely talking to Him. Praying for guidance, peace, what have you. Praising Him. Having the faith and knowledge that he will take care of you. In short, giving your life to him. If that's not the biggest change of all, I really don't know what else is. Along with such a change, one must make it so his or her faith and relationship with can flow in, around, and through his or her life. Doing such a thing can be difficult based on the current lifestyle of said believer. But again, that's where change comes in. Necessary and extremely important changes.
Throughout my 23 years of life I've watched multiple types of people interact in multiple types of ways. From those in love to those meeting for the first time there are connections happening. Such connections lead to influence. I believe that no matter how long you've known a person he or she will influence you in some type of way. It may not be a strong influence but every time we meet someone a little bit of ourselves changes. This could be as simple as knowing a person's name (a change of knowledge) to having our minds or actions altered by a relationship (friendly or romantic).
Who knows, you may have even changed by reading this blog.
Observation is an action I've come to live by and such an action has helped me conjure up a theory about the nature of the human race. Though all different physically, mentally, socially, and the like, the art of influence doesn't surpass any of us. Our actions, thoughts, sayings, etc...can be affected by those we spend the most time around.
Lets first take a look at dating/married relationships (keep in mind this is all an idea of my own and not scientifically proven). Bob wants to date someone who doesn't want to change him and accepts him for him (good job Bob, you know you deserve respect and are comfortable with who you are). However, what Bob doesn't realize is that unbeknownst to him, by simply dating his significant other, he will be changed. Though it may not be severe, some sort of metamorphosis will take place. He will learn things from this relationship that may cause him to change the way he does certain things. Whether its actions, timing, scheduling, what have you...something about dear Bob will be different. Now if Bob were to marry his dear love, an even bigger change will have to take place.
I personally have never been married, but I take the next few thoughts from observation. What I've noticed is that when a couple gets married they need to make many changes. Married life in itself is an adjustment, but on top of that you have all the little quirks that you have to get used to from your new husband or wife. Thus giving a possibility for the need to change in order to tolerate such things (both good and bad).
Moving on to friendships. I've been told many times that we become like the five people we spend the most time around. (In the whole scheme of things this can be both a terrifying and wonderful thought.) Thus tying into my first point, we will always be subconsciously changing base on the people we spend time with. Personally I've found that when I talk with my friends or just people in general (especially those with different accents or dialects) I kind of start talking like them. It's not something I notice, but it just happens. A subconscious change. I've also found that based on my friends' needs there may be things I need to do that need to be altered. Granted that may be argued as a possible conscious change...but that's a discussion for another day.
How about Christians? As a Christian I've found that there are multiple life changes that need to be made, most of which are conscious. Simply believing that Jesus is your Lord as and savior isn't enough (though, it is a huge factor). No, one needs to build a relationship with God. I can't tell you how many changes that in itself will create in your life. Namely talking to Him. Praying for guidance, peace, what have you. Praising Him. Having the faith and knowledge that he will take care of you. In short, giving your life to him. If that's not the biggest change of all, I really don't know what else is. Along with such a change, one must make it so his or her faith and relationship with can flow in, around, and through his or her life. Doing such a thing can be difficult based on the current lifestyle of said believer. But again, that's where change comes in. Necessary and extremely important changes.
Throughout my 23 years of life I've watched multiple types of people interact in multiple types of ways. From those in love to those meeting for the first time there are connections happening. Such connections lead to influence. I believe that no matter how long you've known a person he or she will influence you in some type of way. It may not be a strong influence but every time we meet someone a little bit of ourselves changes. This could be as simple as knowing a person's name (a change of knowledge) to having our minds or actions altered by a relationship (friendly or romantic).
Who knows, you may have even changed by reading this blog.
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
Simple Pleasures
So I need to come clean about something.
I've been in a relatively committed relationship for the past while (seems like years at this point).
I feel so comfortable when we're around each other and I can't help but dream every so often when I'm with him. After a long stressful day, there's no one I'd rather cuddle up with.
His name is Matt Ress (I call him, Bed, for short).
(Had you going for a second didn't I? Admit it...)
Napping is probably one of my favorite past times.
Granted this didn't come to be until about college...but it's something I've really come to enjoy.
Such a commonly indulged pleasure of mine has granted me recent nicknames such as Cat and Princess Feline. An extremely minor downside when comparing that to the joys that an afternoon snooze can bring.
My favorite part is the initial laying on the bed.
When your tired body reaches the mattress and every inch of your fatigued muscles just melts into each pillowy (Is that a word? Meh it is now.) pore. Then your eyes begin to gain poundage as you lay peacefully on your rectangle of comfort.
Probably one of the best feelings ever.
In the book of Matthew is a verse that brings me back to this moment every time:
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."
Even reading it now just gives me a huge sense of calm. As if any sort of weight of anything was just taken from me.
To know that even though our God is so great he still wants us to come to him for any little thing.
To know that he will help us find peace not matter how big or small the problem is.
To know that we're not in anything alone, because he will be the hands that help support us.
To know that we can breath (both figuratively and literally).
The ultimate nap, if you will.
I've been in a relatively committed relationship for the past while (seems like years at this point).
I feel so comfortable when we're around each other and I can't help but dream every so often when I'm with him. After a long stressful day, there's no one I'd rather cuddle up with.
His name is Matt Ress (I call him, Bed, for short).
(Had you going for a second didn't I? Admit it...)
Napping is probably one of my favorite past times.
Granted this didn't come to be until about college...but it's something I've really come to enjoy.
Such a commonly indulged pleasure of mine has granted me recent nicknames such as Cat and Princess Feline. An extremely minor downside when comparing that to the joys that an afternoon snooze can bring.
My favorite part is the initial laying on the bed.
When your tired body reaches the mattress and every inch of your fatigued muscles just melts into each pillowy (Is that a word? Meh it is now.) pore. Then your eyes begin to gain poundage as you lay peacefully on your rectangle of comfort.
Probably one of the best feelings ever.
In the book of Matthew is a verse that brings me back to this moment every time:
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."
Even reading it now just gives me a huge sense of calm. As if any sort of weight of anything was just taken from me.
To know that even though our God is so great he still wants us to come to him for any little thing.
To know that he will help us find peace not matter how big or small the problem is.
To know that we're not in anything alone, because he will be the hands that help support us.
To know that we can breath (both figuratively and literally).
The ultimate nap, if you will.
Saturday, July 6, 2013
Buds
Outside of my back door lives a flame tree.
Before I left for Thailand its branches were mere leaves and not a single flower (that I can remember) had poked its way through. Now upon my arrival to my island home it is engulfed with the radiant oranges and reds that said timber shows off so willingly once in full bloom. Yet scattered amongst the blossoms are buds still holding themselves tightly closed. Almost to be a clenched fist of petals. Refusing to show themselves until the opportune moment, these future florets hide themselves inside of a green shell.
Not unlike people.
I've been a bit out of sorts for the past couple of days, perhaps I've succumbed to a bit of reverse-culture shock (or "re-entry" if you will). The state in which a person returns to his or her place of origin (in this case Saipan) and has to readjust and reacquaint to his or her surroundings. Tiredness and a sense of detachment have been my most recent downfall. Surprisingly though, when I left Thailand my heart didn't ache for the country and it's beauty. It ached for the people I was leaving.
As stated in a former blog I'm not a stranger to goodbyes. I've switched schools, moved away, and even had loved ones pass on.
It's part of life.
What I've come to realize is that a portion of people I meet, I may not ever come in contact with again.
Yet that isn't an excuse to not care.
Throughout my travels, school experiences, and different locations of residence I've come to find that some of the people who have left a mark on my heart, are those I've only had a short relationship with.
I spent the last month with 7 other volunteers and 23 young girls who now live a world away from me. But the time spent with them was not wasted. I've been told many times that God puts people into our lives for a reason. No matter the amount of hours, days, months, or even years...that person will have an affect on you. Whether it be positive or negative said relationship was meant to happen.
Therefore...
We must be open to the people that come into our lives. I'm not saying that you need to completely spill your life story to them right away...but don't close them off. We're all human, we need relationships...even if it's for a short time.
My current location of residence is what most call a transit community. Citizens are made and lost in a blink of an eye, thus making attachment to people sometimes difficult. It's natural...who wants to put effort into a friendship that will just end after a year or so? But think about what you could miss out on by not getting to know that person. Think of the influence you could be to him or her or visa versa.
It can only take a matter of minutes to touch someone's life. Let your relationships with others bloom, don't stay "budded" up.
Before I left for Thailand its branches were mere leaves and not a single flower (that I can remember) had poked its way through. Now upon my arrival to my island home it is engulfed with the radiant oranges and reds that said timber shows off so willingly once in full bloom. Yet scattered amongst the blossoms are buds still holding themselves tightly closed. Almost to be a clenched fist of petals. Refusing to show themselves until the opportune moment, these future florets hide themselves inside of a green shell.
Not unlike people.
I've been a bit out of sorts for the past couple of days, perhaps I've succumbed to a bit of reverse-culture shock (or "re-entry" if you will). The state in which a person returns to his or her place of origin (in this case Saipan) and has to readjust and reacquaint to his or her surroundings. Tiredness and a sense of detachment have been my most recent downfall. Surprisingly though, when I left Thailand my heart didn't ache for the country and it's beauty. It ached for the people I was leaving.
As stated in a former blog I'm not a stranger to goodbyes. I've switched schools, moved away, and even had loved ones pass on.
It's part of life.
What I've come to realize is that a portion of people I meet, I may not ever come in contact with again.
Yet that isn't an excuse to not care.
Throughout my travels, school experiences, and different locations of residence I've come to find that some of the people who have left a mark on my heart, are those I've only had a short relationship with.
I spent the last month with 7 other volunteers and 23 young girls who now live a world away from me. But the time spent with them was not wasted. I've been told many times that God puts people into our lives for a reason. No matter the amount of hours, days, months, or even years...that person will have an affect on you. Whether it be positive or negative said relationship was meant to happen.
Therefore...
We must be open to the people that come into our lives. I'm not saying that you need to completely spill your life story to them right away...but don't close them off. We're all human, we need relationships...even if it's for a short time.
My current location of residence is what most call a transit community. Citizens are made and lost in a blink of an eye, thus making attachment to people sometimes difficult. It's natural...who wants to put effort into a friendship that will just end after a year or so? But think about what you could miss out on by not getting to know that person. Think of the influence you could be to him or her or visa versa.
It can only take a matter of minutes to touch someone's life. Let your relationships with others bloom, don't stay "budded" up.
Sunday, June 16, 2013
What My Dad Taught Me
In honor of Father's Day I thought I would share 10 things that my dad has taught me.
Here we go...
What my dad taught me:
1. God has a plan for each of us. It's is the right plan. The only plan. Follow it obediently and do not stray.
2. Love is not only shown through affection. Not just hugs. Not just kisses. Some of the greatest affection can be show through action.
3. Don't be afraid to surprise the ones you love. Whether it's with gifts or acts of service, it's ok to show people you care.
4. Always tell the people you love that you love them. Always.
5. Don't be afraid to laugh at yourself. We all do stupid things. Just laugh.
6. Be respectful. No questions asked.
7. Be confident.
8. Be encouraging. A few encouraging words can go a long way.
9. Sometimes a good nap is all you need.
10. Don't try to control people. Let them be free to live their own lives and be a shoulder to lean on when times get tough.
I love you dad, Happy Father's Day!
Here we go...
What my dad taught me:
1. God has a plan for each of us. It's is the right plan. The only plan. Follow it obediently and do not stray.
2. Love is not only shown through affection. Not just hugs. Not just kisses. Some of the greatest affection can be show through action.
3. Don't be afraid to surprise the ones you love. Whether it's with gifts or acts of service, it's ok to show people you care.
4. Always tell the people you love that you love them. Always.
5. Don't be afraid to laugh at yourself. We all do stupid things. Just laugh.
6. Be respectful. No questions asked.
7. Be confident.
8. Be encouraging. A few encouraging words can go a long way.
9. Sometimes a good nap is all you need.
10. Don't try to control people. Let them be free to live their own lives and be a shoulder to lean on when times get tough.
I love you dad, Happy Father's Day!
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
Orientation and a Crucial Lesson
As stated in my last blog post I'm not sure how often I will be blogging, so don't be too heartbroken if I don't write on a daily basis.
Yet today was too blog-worthy to not post.
We had orientation in "The Big House" (it's basically the main office area of COSA) and A told us all about different projects we'll be working on and the like. I will be helping organize as well as teach English classes in the community on Saturdays and Sundays. I will also be working to organize and implement an English tutoring program for some of the Thai staff in the organization. There are a few more options I'm hoping to do (one of which includes writing on the COSA blog), but nothing official in that area yet. I'll keep you posted. We have another orientation tomorrow, A will be telling us about sex trafficking in and around Northern Thailand. I'm looking forward to gaining more knowledge and having a better idea of that types of issues might arise from past experiences some of these girls might have had.
We also went to the grocery store today, quite a story goes along with it. Warning it might be a bit unsettling for those with weak stomachs (maybe that's a bit dramatic).
The spice factor of Thai food is much higher than what my original pallet is used to. It's not unbearable, but one can definitely tell that it's there! With such dining differences come internal disturbances...if you catch my drift. So after having an eventful bathroom experience on my part, our group heads out to the grocery store. Things are going all fine and well until they start mixing themselves up again. Good thing another bathroom wasn't far away.
Once all was said and done, I'm looking around for toilet tissue. To my left...nothing. To my right...nothing. Above me, beneath me, diagonal...nothing.
Dang it. Worst time to not have toilet paper...EVER
I carefully inch my way (with pants on) over to another stall...nothing
Then another...nothing.
Nothing
NOthing
NoTHING
NOTHING
So I head to the sink area. Low and behold, a roll of toilet paper...by the sink. The sink.
Note to self, when going to a public bathroom you need to grab a chunk of tissue before you head into a stall.
Well at least now I'll never forget again...ever.
Oh culture...you get me every time!
Yet today was too blog-worthy to not post.
We had orientation in "The Big House" (it's basically the main office area of COSA) and A told us all about different projects we'll be working on and the like. I will be helping organize as well as teach English classes in the community on Saturdays and Sundays. I will also be working to organize and implement an English tutoring program for some of the Thai staff in the organization. There are a few more options I'm hoping to do (one of which includes writing on the COSA blog), but nothing official in that area yet. I'll keep you posted. We have another orientation tomorrow, A will be telling us about sex trafficking in and around Northern Thailand. I'm looking forward to gaining more knowledge and having a better idea of that types of issues might arise from past experiences some of these girls might have had.
We also went to the grocery store today, quite a story goes along with it. Warning it might be a bit unsettling for those with weak stomachs (maybe that's a bit dramatic).
The spice factor of Thai food is much higher than what my original pallet is used to. It's not unbearable, but one can definitely tell that it's there! With such dining differences come internal disturbances...if you catch my drift. So after having an eventful bathroom experience on my part, our group heads out to the grocery store. Things are going all fine and well until they start mixing themselves up again. Good thing another bathroom wasn't far away.
Once all was said and done, I'm looking around for toilet tissue. To my left...nothing. To my right...nothing. Above me, beneath me, diagonal...nothing.
Dang it. Worst time to not have toilet paper...EVER
I carefully inch my way (with pants on) over to another stall...nothing
Then another...nothing.
Nothing
NOthing
NoTHING
NOTHING
So I head to the sink area. Low and behold, a roll of toilet paper...by the sink. The sink.
Note to self, when going to a public bathroom you need to grab a chunk of tissue before you head into a stall.
Well at least now I'll never forget again...ever.
Oh culture...you get me every time!
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Welcome to COSA
And so, my adventure in Thailand begins...
I'm sitting on my bed in the volunteer shelter and part of me feels like I should be up and doing something (like being social), while the rest of me knows that I should probably just take a nap.
I arrived at approximately 9:40 this morning and was picked up by one of the directors (we'll call her A) and the main driver.
Riding through downtown it didn't seem much different than Saipan, just bigger and busier. A told me all about what I'll be doing and what is ahead. I'm pretty excited, everything just seems a little overwhelming right now. Traveling 24 hours and only getting a minimal amount of sleep may have something to do with that. Once we arrived at the shelter A gave me a quick tour, introduced me to some of the staff, and showed me the house that I'll be living in. There are about 7 other people I'll be living with and only one bathroom. Going to this from living by myself will be an adjustment, but I'm sure it'll seem like nothing once things get going. At the moment they're all downtown though. Some of the younger girls are off from school right now so I got to spend some time with them. We ate lunch together and made bracelets out of beads and string.
I have orientation with A and a couple other new volunteers tomorrow. I'm looking forward to getting things started, but today is just going to be a day of downtime and adjustment.
I will keep you posted throughout the month. Could be weekly, daily...whenever :D.
But right now, I must nap.
I'm sitting on my bed in the volunteer shelter and part of me feels like I should be up and doing something (like being social), while the rest of me knows that I should probably just take a nap.
I arrived at approximately 9:40 this morning and was picked up by one of the directors (we'll call her A) and the main driver.
Riding through downtown it didn't seem much different than Saipan, just bigger and busier. A told me all about what I'll be doing and what is ahead. I'm pretty excited, everything just seems a little overwhelming right now. Traveling 24 hours and only getting a minimal amount of sleep may have something to do with that. Once we arrived at the shelter A gave me a quick tour, introduced me to some of the staff, and showed me the house that I'll be living in. There are about 7 other people I'll be living with and only one bathroom. Going to this from living by myself will be an adjustment, but I'm sure it'll seem like nothing once things get going. At the moment they're all downtown though. Some of the younger girls are off from school right now so I got to spend some time with them. We ate lunch together and made bracelets out of beads and string.
I have orientation with A and a couple other new volunteers tomorrow. I'm looking forward to getting things started, but today is just going to be a day of downtime and adjustment.
I will keep you posted throughout the month. Could be weekly, daily...whenever :D.
But right now, I must nap.
Layover #2: Bangkok
As so my journey continues...
Travel from Osaka to Bangkok was no problem. I flew with Thai Airways and, good grief, they probably have the most beautiful plane I've ever traveled in!
I walked on the plane, all the flight attendants were wearing traditional Thai clothing (which they soon changed out of once they had to start working) made of silk. All the seats were vivid colors of gold, purple, and fuchsia (a very dark fuchsia, believe me, my eyes didn't burn when I saw it). Everything seemed so regal, even the food plates were beautiful! They also had fleece blankets instead of the cheap, thin kind. Quite the posh experience if I say so myself (did I mention I was in economy class?). I sat next to an old, quiet lady who had an ashy cigarette smell about her. Though, I probably didn't smell too great either after hours of travel. As the plane began its accent my eyelids made their decent. I slept solid for a majority of the flight and woke up to a meal of French toast, fruits, yogurt, and other such breakfast foods. Though, as the plane began to lower into its destination the realization that immigration was coming hit me and about half way through my meal I wasn't so hungry anymore.
What would they ask me?
Did I fill out my paper work alright?
Will they give me the right visa?
Is there a wrong visa?
Stop thinking Michelle, you're being ridiculous.
The plane landed and a shuttle soon came to pick up the passengers. After a quick currency exchange I retrieved my boarding pass and took a few small steps next door to immigration. Oddly enough seeing all the counters there actually made me feel relieved (thanks God), maybe because it showed me how the process was going to go. The joys of being a visual learner. I walked up to the counter and the immigration man didn't even talk to me (YES!). He stuck his hand out for my passport, stamped a few things, made a couple of staples, and sent me on my way.
Feeling rather foolish for, once again, getting myself all in a tizzy for no reason, I continued on my way to find internet. That was a whole different process. I first tried to see if there was a source I could just connect to without any sort of code. No luck. I went to an internet kiosk. It had awkward keys, and a strange sort of mouse ("Ain't nobody got time for dat!"). So I packed myself up and began my journey for the interwebs. At last I found a service desk and they gave me the necessary login information.
Now I sit, on a light blue chair this time, patiently waiting for the final flight of my venture.
So close, yet so far!
See you in Chiang Mai...preferably after I shower and brush my teeth.
Travel from Osaka to Bangkok was no problem. I flew with Thai Airways and, good grief, they probably have the most beautiful plane I've ever traveled in!
I walked on the plane, all the flight attendants were wearing traditional Thai clothing (which they soon changed out of once they had to start working) made of silk. All the seats were vivid colors of gold, purple, and fuchsia (a very dark fuchsia, believe me, my eyes didn't burn when I saw it). Everything seemed so regal, even the food plates were beautiful! They also had fleece blankets instead of the cheap, thin kind. Quite the posh experience if I say so myself (did I mention I was in economy class?). I sat next to an old, quiet lady who had an ashy cigarette smell about her. Though, I probably didn't smell too great either after hours of travel. As the plane began its accent my eyelids made their decent. I slept solid for a majority of the flight and woke up to a meal of French toast, fruits, yogurt, and other such breakfast foods. Though, as the plane began to lower into its destination the realization that immigration was coming hit me and about half way through my meal I wasn't so hungry anymore.
What would they ask me?
Did I fill out my paper work alright?
Will they give me the right visa?
Is there a wrong visa?
Stop thinking Michelle, you're being ridiculous.
The plane landed and a shuttle soon came to pick up the passengers. After a quick currency exchange I retrieved my boarding pass and took a few small steps next door to immigration. Oddly enough seeing all the counters there actually made me feel relieved (thanks God), maybe because it showed me how the process was going to go. The joys of being a visual learner. I walked up to the counter and the immigration man didn't even talk to me (YES!). He stuck his hand out for my passport, stamped a few things, made a couple of staples, and sent me on my way.
Feeling rather foolish for, once again, getting myself all in a tizzy for no reason, I continued on my way to find internet. That was a whole different process. I first tried to see if there was a source I could just connect to without any sort of code. No luck. I went to an internet kiosk. It had awkward keys, and a strange sort of mouse ("Ain't nobody got time for dat!"). So I packed myself up and began my journey for the interwebs. At last I found a service desk and they gave me the necessary login information.
Now I sit, on a light blue chair this time, patiently waiting for the final flight of my venture.
So close, yet so far!
See you in Chiang Mai...preferably after I shower and brush my teeth.
Monday, June 3, 2013
Layover #1: Japan
After hours
of travel I’ve made it to Japan. Though, that’s not to say funny things haven’t
popped up along the way. I will warn you, I’m tired so I apologize in advance
if parts of this blog are a) uncomprehendable (I don’t think that’s a word…oh
well, it is now!) b) incorrect both spelling and grammar wise (see letter a) or
c) too attractive for you to handle.
Let’s begin shall we?
Let’s begin shall we?
It all
started a little before 1:00pm. My stomach was tight with knots about what was
to come. (Before I continue, let me assure you that I do not have a fear of
flying. It’s the whole rush of trying to get where you’re going/the over
looming fear of going through immigration that gets me.) AW, Little E, and AVH
dropped me off at the airport. The whole way there they were reassuring me that
things would be fine (and well surprise, surprise they were!) Hugs were exchanged;
words of encouragement were given, then they were off and I made my way inside.
I waited in line to check-
in and
stared blankly at a dark, vacant kiosk. Though stressful at the time, I suppose
even airport people need to eat lunch too…Soon WB came and joined me in my game
of patience. He waited with me in line and during check in. We said our
goodbyes and he watched me as I made my way through security.
I was off and running (or…sitting). Stress levels were down and my stomach didn’t feel like removing its contents anymore (thanks stomach, you rock). I was ready to start my journey.
I was off and running (or…sitting). Stress levels were down and my stomach didn’t feel like removing its contents anymore (thanks stomach, you rock). I was ready to start my journey.
Before I
knew it I was in Guam. Not much notable about that airport except for the
bathroom. As any good traveler knows, it’s best to use any bathroom you can
before you get on the plane. So I walk in and it looks like there are plenty of
stalls open, or so I thought. Half of the stalls are locked without anyone in
them, three others are clogged, and two won’t flush…so this other lady and I
are waiting for the only stall left. Oh well, it makes for a good story :D.
My flight from Guam went smoothly; I sat next to a really precious old Japanese couple. I kind of wanted to shrink them down and take them home in my pocket…but that’s kind of like kidnapping (old-peoplenapping? Wait old people take naps…ok this is getting out of hand) and that’s frowned on in most societies.
It wasn’t until I reached my current location, the Osaka airport (dun dun duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun), that the fun really began. I get off the plane and head off to the transfers’ security area. I really had no idea if it was where I was supposed to be or not, but the people working there were very considerate. Japanese people are just fabulous people in general. If you don’t know a Japanese person, you should…because they’re fabulous. But I digress. So I head up the stairs looking for a place the find my gate. Scanning the screens my gate is nowhere to be found, so I figured I’d be logical and go to a random gate and ask someone there.
That’s actually a really terrible idea, especially if you decide to go to the other side of the airport where there isn’t any living thing present. Then you decide to be logical again and ask a security guy for help, only to find that he speaks little to no English and you tell yourself that you should probably learn more languages so you don’t have to deal with this again…not that that would happen to me of course >_>.
But alas I did find my gate (about an hour later) and now I’m sitting in a blindingly yellow chair typitty-typing away at this blog…which is longer than it should be. But that’s ok because I’ve got two whole hours to kill.
*le sigh*
I’m not sure when I’ll be back to blog, hopefully in Bangkok. If not, I’ll see you in Chiang Mai!
My flight from Guam went smoothly; I sat next to a really precious old Japanese couple. I kind of wanted to shrink them down and take them home in my pocket…but that’s kind of like kidnapping (old-peoplenapping? Wait old people take naps…ok this is getting out of hand) and that’s frowned on in most societies.
It wasn’t until I reached my current location, the Osaka airport (dun dun duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun), that the fun really began. I get off the plane and head off to the transfers’ security area. I really had no idea if it was where I was supposed to be or not, but the people working there were very considerate. Japanese people are just fabulous people in general. If you don’t know a Japanese person, you should…because they’re fabulous. But I digress. So I head up the stairs looking for a place the find my gate. Scanning the screens my gate is nowhere to be found, so I figured I’d be logical and go to a random gate and ask someone there.
That’s actually a really terrible idea, especially if you decide to go to the other side of the airport where there isn’t any living thing present. Then you decide to be logical again and ask a security guy for help, only to find that he speaks little to no English and you tell yourself that you should probably learn more languages so you don’t have to deal with this again…not that that would happen to me of course >_>.
But alas I did find my gate (about an hour later) and now I’m sitting in a blindingly yellow chair typitty-typing away at this blog…which is longer than it should be. But that’s ok because I’ve got two whole hours to kill.
*le sigh*
I’m not sure when I’ll be back to blog, hopefully in Bangkok. If not, I’ll see you in Chiang Mai!
Pre-Travel Jitters
So here I am, 7:33am on the morning of my day of departure for Thailand.
I have got a little over seven hours before I leave, but who invited all these butterflies?
Before I get too far, I suppose I should catch you up as to why I'm going to said Asian country.
I will be volunteering at a shelter for girls who are either at risk of being involved in or have already been involved in sex trafficking. This organization gives them the chance to be educated and have a safe haven so that no further damage can be done. An amazing goal if you ask me.
I booked this trip months ago, but the realization of it all is just settling in.
Am I terrified? Scared? Well, no that's a bit extreme (though I do think I should have brushed up more on my Thai before today. Oh well, hindsight is 20/20)...but I just have a healthy bit of anxious anticipation (if there is such a thing). My biggest concern at the moment is dealing with customs at the airport. Though, I have heard that the immigration people make things pretty easy for travelers.
I covet your prayers.
Prayers for calm during travel
Prayers for safety
Prayers for the organization as it continues its mission to help these girls
Prayers for health
Prayers that luggage doesn't get lost
Prayers that God can use me in the best way possible
Though with prayers, come copious amounts of praises as well.
Praises that I have been given this opportunity
Praises that finances for this trip were no problem
Praises for support and encouragement from family and friends all over the U.S. and Saipan.
Praises for long layovers so I have plenty of time to find my gates and get through customs at my point of entry.
Praises that there is an organization that can give these girls a chance.
Praises that the staff of the organization have been so helpful.
I know I'm doing the right thing, God wouldn't have let things work out so well if I wasn't.
All that's left to do is to leave.
I will be blogging during my layovers as well as during my time in the country (a little less than a month to be exact). You are more than welcome to follow my posts!
See you in Japan.
I have got a little over seven hours before I leave, but who invited all these butterflies?
Before I get too far, I suppose I should catch you up as to why I'm going to said Asian country.
I will be volunteering at a shelter for girls who are either at risk of being involved in or have already been involved in sex trafficking. This organization gives them the chance to be educated and have a safe haven so that no further damage can be done. An amazing goal if you ask me.
I booked this trip months ago, but the realization of it all is just settling in.
Am I terrified? Scared? Well, no that's a bit extreme (though I do think I should have brushed up more on my Thai before today. Oh well, hindsight is 20/20)...but I just have a healthy bit of anxious anticipation (if there is such a thing). My biggest concern at the moment is dealing with customs at the airport. Though, I have heard that the immigration people make things pretty easy for travelers.
I covet your prayers.
Prayers for calm during travel
Prayers for safety
Prayers for the organization as it continues its mission to help these girls
Prayers for health
Prayers that luggage doesn't get lost
Prayers that God can use me in the best way possible
Though with prayers, come copious amounts of praises as well.
Praises that I have been given this opportunity
Praises that finances for this trip were no problem
Praises for support and encouragement from family and friends all over the U.S. and Saipan.
Praises for long layovers so I have plenty of time to find my gates and get through customs at my point of entry.
Praises that there is an organization that can give these girls a chance.
Praises that the staff of the organization have been so helpful.
I know I'm doing the right thing, God wouldn't have let things work out so well if I wasn't.
All that's left to do is to leave.
I will be blogging during my layovers as well as during my time in the country (a little less than a month to be exact). You are more than welcome to follow my posts!
See you in Japan.
Friday, May 31, 2013
180 Days
It's been about a week since I closed the door on my first teaching experience. To say I learned a lot would be an understatement.
I'll start with saying that although student teaching and four years of education classes were a crucial asset in the process of becoming an educator, there were plenty of aspects that I couldn't have prepared for if I tried. Thus many personal lessons ensued.
1. Be patient
In the profession of teaching this may seem like an obvious one. When you work with kids (of any age) you need to have some level of patience (preferably a high one). But good grief does that patience get tested. From behavior to simple things like having multiple students coming up to your desk asking the same question over...and over...and over...I'm surprised I still have chunks of my hair left. Regardless, there is no excuse for a snappy teacher. Just take a deep breath. Bite your tongue if you have to. Then move on. How your students react to you can often depend on how you react to your students.
2. You have a spine. Use it.
Let's face it, as a teacher criticism is inescapable. You are constantly being watched. Whether it's by parents, fellow teachers, your principal, or even the students themselves...there is no safe place to hide. In such cases you will more than likely get comments (both negative and positive) about how you perform things in your classroom. It's good to take such advice into consideration, yet it's ok to explain why you do the things you do and stand up for yourself. Say a parent is upset that little Jonny got an F on his homework assignment because he or she didn't turn it in and wants him to have the chance to redo it. Yet you have a strict turn in policy, thus making it so he gets a zero for a missing assignment. It's ok to stand your ground.
3. Be lenient when necessary.
On the other side of the spectrum, there will be chances when you'll need to give students some leeway. Life at home can really affect how a student performs. If mom and dad are getting a divorce, the last thing on little Sally's mind is going to be studying for her Spelling test. It's always important to keep the well being of the student in mind. If you're unsure, just look at how he or she is performing in class.
4. Be encouraging.
As much as I hate to admit it, this is one I struggled with. Not to say I never encouraged my students, believe me I did. Yet sometimes it's just so easy to get caught up in what students need to improve on instead of focusing on the great things they've already accomplished. When you're a teacher you should be one of your students' biggest cheerleaders. Be positive. Celebrate small victories. Show your students you're proud of them. It might to farther than you expect.
...Onward to year two...
I'll start with saying that although student teaching and four years of education classes were a crucial asset in the process of becoming an educator, there were plenty of aspects that I couldn't have prepared for if I tried. Thus many personal lessons ensued.
1. Be patient
In the profession of teaching this may seem like an obvious one. When you work with kids (of any age) you need to have some level of patience (preferably a high one). But good grief does that patience get tested. From behavior to simple things like having multiple students coming up to your desk asking the same question over...and over...and over...I'm surprised I still have chunks of my hair left. Regardless, there is no excuse for a snappy teacher. Just take a deep breath. Bite your tongue if you have to. Then move on. How your students react to you can often depend on how you react to your students.
2. You have a spine. Use it.
Let's face it, as a teacher criticism is inescapable. You are constantly being watched. Whether it's by parents, fellow teachers, your principal, or even the students themselves...there is no safe place to hide. In such cases you will more than likely get comments (both negative and positive) about how you perform things in your classroom. It's good to take such advice into consideration, yet it's ok to explain why you do the things you do and stand up for yourself. Say a parent is upset that little Jonny got an F on his homework assignment because he or she didn't turn it in and wants him to have the chance to redo it. Yet you have a strict turn in policy, thus making it so he gets a zero for a missing assignment. It's ok to stand your ground.
3. Be lenient when necessary.
On the other side of the spectrum, there will be chances when you'll need to give students some leeway. Life at home can really affect how a student performs. If mom and dad are getting a divorce, the last thing on little Sally's mind is going to be studying for her Spelling test. It's always important to keep the well being of the student in mind. If you're unsure, just look at how he or she is performing in class.
4. Be encouraging.
As much as I hate to admit it, this is one I struggled with. Not to say I never encouraged my students, believe me I did. Yet sometimes it's just so easy to get caught up in what students need to improve on instead of focusing on the great things they've already accomplished. When you're a teacher you should be one of your students' biggest cheerleaders. Be positive. Celebrate small victories. Show your students you're proud of them. It might to farther than you expect.
...Onward to year two...
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Eye See
Out of all the quirks and imperfections I have, I've found my perfectionist knack to be one of my biggest downfalls.
Now, when it comes to organization, projects, etc...this trait can be a plus. In school it was actually kind of a God-send.
Yet in the world of real life, it can become more of a hindrance than a help. Especially when it comes to people. I will be the first to admit that I hold high expectations of my friends, family, and people whom I care about in general. Now you may be thinking "...and this is a problem because?" Well in some aspects it's not. It's always good to have standards when it comes to relationships with others. On the flip side, when it gets to the point that I'm mentally picking out what's wrong with those around me and thinking of all the ways THEY need to change, well...then changes with ME need to start. (Now, I'm not saying I go around looking for people's problems or am constantly eyeing people up and down...I just find myself sometimes focusing more on other's imperfections rather than my own.)
Hiding in the book of Matthew is a verse (Ch. 7:5 to be exact) that goes like this:
"Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend's eye."
Now, is it implying that we have round tree trunks sticking out of our pupils? No...don't be ridiculous. (Though, the imagery of such a thing is rather laughable.)
What this verse is trying to show us is, to put it in modern terms, we need to stop being nit-picky of other's issues and focus on how we can fix ourselves first.
I'm trying to create a new habit of this. When I find myself thinking of something that someone else needs to change I pause my brain. I flip through the files of my mental lobes and think of times that I've done that same thing or something similar. Instead of pointing a finger of judgment, I try to focus on the root why of said person might be doing that. There might be an underlying issue that is causing said actions. It's not an easy habit to form, but I've got my whole life to continue to work on it and improve.
Now if you'll excuse me...I'm off to pull a pretty hefty log out of my optical region.
Now, when it comes to organization, projects, etc...this trait can be a plus. In school it was actually kind of a God-send.
Yet in the world of real life, it can become more of a hindrance than a help. Especially when it comes to people. I will be the first to admit that I hold high expectations of my friends, family, and people whom I care about in general. Now you may be thinking "...and this is a problem because?" Well in some aspects it's not. It's always good to have standards when it comes to relationships with others. On the flip side, when it gets to the point that I'm mentally picking out what's wrong with those around me and thinking of all the ways THEY need to change, well...then changes with ME need to start. (Now, I'm not saying I go around looking for people's problems or am constantly eyeing people up and down...I just find myself sometimes focusing more on other's imperfections rather than my own.)
Hiding in the book of Matthew is a verse (Ch. 7:5 to be exact) that goes like this:
"Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend's eye."
Now, is it implying that we have round tree trunks sticking out of our pupils? No...don't be ridiculous. (Though, the imagery of such a thing is rather laughable.)
What this verse is trying to show us is, to put it in modern terms, we need to stop being nit-picky of other's issues and focus on how we can fix ourselves first.
I'm trying to create a new habit of this. When I find myself thinking of something that someone else needs to change I pause my brain. I flip through the files of my mental lobes and think of times that I've done that same thing or something similar. Instead of pointing a finger of judgment, I try to focus on the root why of said person might be doing that. There might be an underlying issue that is causing said actions. It's not an easy habit to form, but I've got my whole life to continue to work on it and improve.
Now if you'll excuse me...I'm off to pull a pretty hefty log out of my optical region.
Sunday, May 12, 2013
What My Mom Taught Me
In honor of Mother's Day I thought I would share 10 things that my mom has taught me over the years.
Here we go...
What my mom taught me:
1. Trust God. Follow His ways. Depend fully on Him and know that He has everything under control
2. Love. Love everyone. No matter where they're from or what they've done. Love.
3. Don't judge. It's not our place to judge people. The only person who can judge is God.
4. Have grace. No one is perfect. People will make mistakes. Give them grace, they're only human.
5. Be willing to listen. No matter if the person is your best friend or worst enemy. Listen.
6. Try to look for the good in people. Even when it's hard.
7. Breathe. Getting stressed over insignificant things is a waste of energy.
8. Always take your vitamins. Turns out they do actually make you feel better.
9. Some of what might seem like the world's biggest problems at the time can be solved by eating ice cream or taking a trip to a coffee shop.
10. Pray. Always pray.
Thank you Mama, I love you!
Here we go...
What my mom taught me:
1. Trust God. Follow His ways. Depend fully on Him and know that He has everything under control
2. Love. Love everyone. No matter where they're from or what they've done. Love.
3. Don't judge. It's not our place to judge people. The only person who can judge is God.
4. Have grace. No one is perfect. People will make mistakes. Give them grace, they're only human.
5. Be willing to listen. No matter if the person is your best friend or worst enemy. Listen.
6. Try to look for the good in people. Even when it's hard.
7. Breathe. Getting stressed over insignificant things is a waste of energy.
8. Always take your vitamins. Turns out they do actually make you feel better.
9. Some of what might seem like the world's biggest problems at the time can be solved by eating ice cream or taking a trip to a coffee shop.
10. Pray. Always pray.
Thank you Mama, I love you!
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Run
It wasn't until recently that I truly discovered the joy that it is to run. Granted, my positivity about doing so isn't always there. AVH and AW can attest to the fact that I've had my fair share of complaints about the activity when we go out for our jogs. But deep down, I know there's something freeing about it.
Ask me about my opinion of the sport a year or two ago, I'd probably smirk. It was a punishment in the activities I had participated in, so why would I do it for fun?
Fast forward to today.
To say the least my week has not been easy. The weight of heavy thoughts. Lack of sleep. Students causing problems. Discussions with parents. (Though, compared to that of the bombings in Boston, my week has been fabulous.) All enough to make me burst at the seams. I could feel pent up energy and adrenaline pulsating it's way through my body. For the first time in a while I looked forward to running my 3ish miles.
I began.
My feet tapping the pavement.
Legs getting stiff
Heart pounding.
Breathing getting heavy.
I always wondered what my face looked like to the cars passing by...meh, who said running had to be attractive.
My thoughts soon moved to everything that brought me down this week.
I ran harder.
Each word that was said.
Each action that was done.
I ran harder.
All I wanted to do was to keep running.
Let it go.
I felt a sense of freedom.
I kept telling myself, The more you run the farther away the worries will be.
Running, running, running.
And turn.
My journey back began.
Despite a painful side-ache or two on my return, I did it. As I slowed to my cool-down I could feel the endorphins exploding inside my head.
To be blessed with such a marvelous ability to move is overwhelming.
A gift that I know I truly take for granted.
Ask me about my opinion of the sport a year or two ago, I'd probably smirk. It was a punishment in the activities I had participated in, so why would I do it for fun?
Fast forward to today.
To say the least my week has not been easy. The weight of heavy thoughts. Lack of sleep. Students causing problems. Discussions with parents. (Though, compared to that of the bombings in Boston, my week has been fabulous.) All enough to make me burst at the seams. I could feel pent up energy and adrenaline pulsating it's way through my body. For the first time in a while I looked forward to running my 3ish miles.
I began.
My feet tapping the pavement.
Legs getting stiff
Heart pounding.
Breathing getting heavy.
I always wondered what my face looked like to the cars passing by...meh, who said running had to be attractive.
My thoughts soon moved to everything that brought me down this week.
I ran harder.
Each word that was said.
Each action that was done.
I ran harder.
All I wanted to do was to keep running.
Let it go.
I felt a sense of freedom.
I kept telling myself, The more you run the farther away the worries will be.
Running, running, running.
And turn.
My journey back began.
Despite a painful side-ache or two on my return, I did it. As I slowed to my cool-down I could feel the endorphins exploding inside my head.
To be blessed with such a marvelous ability to move is overwhelming.
A gift that I know I truly take for granted.
Thursday, April 11, 2013
Uncontrolled Circumstances
I've been meaning to write about this for a while, I suppose I just couldn't figure out the proper wording for such a post.
As many (if not all) of you know I live in Saipan. A tropical island that sits approximately 155 miles away from Guam. Yes Guam. A target in the eyes of a war empowered, North Korean leader who is trying to prove himself.
It's strange to think such a thing could happen so close. I didn't realize the seriousness of it all until my mom sent me a message about it a couple weeks ago. Good Friday to be exact. Without a television one has the ability to lose touch with what's going on in the world (though sometimes Facebook has all the news you need). Yet, through it all I have found no reason to worry. No anxiety about what "might" happen. A simple "This too shall pass" feeling.
Let's go back to Good Friday.
My body rested on a stiff church pew, my whole being emotionally exhausted from the day. In my mind whirled news articles, pictures, what have you. The concern of my family back home and how there was absolutely no way that I could tell them for sure that everything would be alright. All I could say was that God's got this. I suddenly blinked back to reality. My eyes panned around the sanctuary, people were still worshiping and praising God.
Despite the possibility of an over looming tragedy, people rejoiced. Despite the terrifying news feeds, people went on with life as usual. It was as if this whole thing, in that moment, was nothing. Our tiny island was focused in the moment, not what might come.
Now I've heard it from both sides, some don't think it's a big deal (almost an empty threat if you will) while other's watch their news tickers like hawks.
I choose to take it a day at a time. I don't look at the papers much, or watch things about it. Occasionally my friends and I will joke about it, like maybe we'll escape to a neighboring (unthreatened) country or something. Sometimes humor is the best in heavy situations.
What has kept me sane though is my faith.
I know I serve the God who holds my life in His hands. He knows my future and what is to come. There is no sense for me to worry about the unknown when I know that He has it under control. What will happen is going to happen (whether or not that includes nuclear warfare). There is nothing I can do so why try to control what I cannot?
This verse has been swimming its way through the lines of my thoughts lately:
"But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you"
-Matthew 5:44
It's times like this when all we can do is pray. Pray for the leader in North Korea. Pray for the people of North Korea. Pray to ease the pain of worry that bubbles up in our hearts when we deal with the unknown. Pray for wisdom. Pray for strength. Just pray.
I don't know what is going to happen. I don't know when. I don't know where. But I do know, that I want you to know I'm alright. We're alright. God will bring peace, not matter the circumstance.
As many (if not all) of you know I live in Saipan. A tropical island that sits approximately 155 miles away from Guam. Yes Guam. A target in the eyes of a war empowered, North Korean leader who is trying to prove himself.
It's strange to think such a thing could happen so close. I didn't realize the seriousness of it all until my mom sent me a message about it a couple weeks ago. Good Friday to be exact. Without a television one has the ability to lose touch with what's going on in the world (though sometimes Facebook has all the news you need). Yet, through it all I have found no reason to worry. No anxiety about what "might" happen. A simple "This too shall pass" feeling.
Let's go back to Good Friday.
My body rested on a stiff church pew, my whole being emotionally exhausted from the day. In my mind whirled news articles, pictures, what have you. The concern of my family back home and how there was absolutely no way that I could tell them for sure that everything would be alright. All I could say was that God's got this. I suddenly blinked back to reality. My eyes panned around the sanctuary, people were still worshiping and praising God.
Despite the possibility of an over looming tragedy, people rejoiced. Despite the terrifying news feeds, people went on with life as usual. It was as if this whole thing, in that moment, was nothing. Our tiny island was focused in the moment, not what might come.
Now I've heard it from both sides, some don't think it's a big deal (almost an empty threat if you will) while other's watch their news tickers like hawks.
I choose to take it a day at a time. I don't look at the papers much, or watch things about it. Occasionally my friends and I will joke about it, like maybe we'll escape to a neighboring (unthreatened) country or something. Sometimes humor is the best in heavy situations.
What has kept me sane though is my faith.
I know I serve the God who holds my life in His hands. He knows my future and what is to come. There is no sense for me to worry about the unknown when I know that He has it under control. What will happen is going to happen (whether or not that includes nuclear warfare). There is nothing I can do so why try to control what I cannot?
This verse has been swimming its way through the lines of my thoughts lately:
"But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you"
-Matthew 5:44
It's times like this when all we can do is pray. Pray for the leader in North Korea. Pray for the people of North Korea. Pray to ease the pain of worry that bubbles up in our hearts when we deal with the unknown. Pray for wisdom. Pray for strength. Just pray.
I don't know what is going to happen. I don't know when. I don't know where. But I do know, that I want you to know I'm alright. We're alright. God will bring peace, not matter the circumstance.
Sunday, March 24, 2013
I Do
Let me start off this post with saying that I personally am not married.
Nor is it likely that I will be in the near future...at least as far as I know.
With that being said you are probably asking yourselves...sooo why are you writing about it then?
Be patient.
Like all my entries I have a point.
I've found that I come from a society where marriage (at least media-wise) is not as highly favored as it once was.
In some instances it would seem that some people would deem marriage a let down. I suppose if one has his or her mind set in that way then it probably will be. Then again, these thoughts can arise from different, more serious, situations as well...
(Of course there is the polar opposite of things...I went to a college where engagement was as common as turning in a homework assignment. Some girls even went there just so they could find a husband. But I digress)
What about the good that can come out of marriage? I have a lot of respect for those couples who are married (not that I don't have any for those who aren't, it's just a different kind). Two people who share a promise to stay committed to each other for the rest of their lives, even when times turn sour. Two people who think of not only themselves but each other. Two people who cheer on and take care of each other. Two people who can fight, bicker, and have completely different opinions but still love each other despite it all.
I don't know about you, but I think that sounds pretty fabulous.
Nor is it likely that I will be in the near future...at least as far as I know.
With that being said you are probably asking yourselves...sooo why are you writing about it then?
Be patient.
Like all my entries I have a point.
I've found that I come from a society where marriage (at least media-wise) is not as highly favored as it once was.
In some instances it would seem that some people would deem marriage a let down. I suppose if one has his or her mind set in that way then it probably will be. Then again, these thoughts can arise from different, more serious, situations as well...
(Of course there is the polar opposite of things...I went to a college where engagement was as common as turning in a homework assignment. Some girls even went there just so they could find a husband. But I digress)
What about the good that can come out of marriage? I have a lot of respect for those couples who are married (not that I don't have any for those who aren't, it's just a different kind). Two people who share a promise to stay committed to each other for the rest of their lives, even when times turn sour. Two people who think of not only themselves but each other. Two people who cheer on and take care of each other. Two people who can fight, bicker, and have completely different opinions but still love each other despite it all.
I don't know about you, but I think that sounds pretty fabulous.
Sunday, March 17, 2013
Church Mouse
As I trecked back from my (somewhat, but not really) weekly ritual of Sunday night grading, I made a pit stop at the church sanctuary.
In all honesty I'm not sure why, I mean I've spent quite a bit of quality time with said building. With chapel on Friday and church on Sunday, one would think it's not a place that would draw me in too quickly. Yet there was something about it tonight that seemed so inviting.
A quiet, calm place with uncomfortably inviting pews. I took a seat in the very front left. Even after being in said space multiple times I realized I had never taken a chance to see the sanctuary as it really is.
My eyes followed the rows and rows of pews lined up parallel from each other. All in perfect formation, almost as if they were soldiers marching. Up from the seating my eyes traveled to the ceiling. Each rafter connected to the next by large bolts screwed tightly in place. My eyes followed them until it hit the cross, standing ever so luminously in the soft light of the stage.
A billowy glow outlined the most important symbol I have ever come to know. It gave me a sense of peace. In fact the whole experience of just sitting there did. To be seated in complete silence. Stillness even. The only movement were the carlights shining on the walls as each vehicle passed by.
My eyes soon traveled down to the floor where I saw a mouse rushing back and forth. His tiny feet scurrying from one hiding place to the next.
I suppose mice to need a calming place too.
In all honesty I'm not sure why, I mean I've spent quite a bit of quality time with said building. With chapel on Friday and church on Sunday, one would think it's not a place that would draw me in too quickly. Yet there was something about it tonight that seemed so inviting.
A quiet, calm place with uncomfortably inviting pews. I took a seat in the very front left. Even after being in said space multiple times I realized I had never taken a chance to see the sanctuary as it really is.
My eyes followed the rows and rows of pews lined up parallel from each other. All in perfect formation, almost as if they were soldiers marching. Up from the seating my eyes traveled to the ceiling. Each rafter connected to the next by large bolts screwed tightly in place. My eyes followed them until it hit the cross, standing ever so luminously in the soft light of the stage.
A billowy glow outlined the most important symbol I have ever come to know. It gave me a sense of peace. In fact the whole experience of just sitting there did. To be seated in complete silence. Stillness even. The only movement were the carlights shining on the walls as each vehicle passed by.
My eyes soon traveled down to the floor where I saw a mouse rushing back and forth. His tiny feet scurrying from one hiding place to the next.
I suppose mice to need a calming place too.
Monday, February 18, 2013
Doubt
So I'll be honest, I've been doubtful about things lately.
Doubtful God will provide for this.
Doubtful God will change that.
Is it normal for anyone to have doubts? Yes of course, we're human and have sin festering inside of us. Someone without doubt would seem alien.
Is doubt with God something we need to fight to over come? Well, I think you probably know the answer as best as I...a big, whopping, affirmative.
In order to help aid my feelings of uncertainity I cracked open the B-I-B-L-E (yes that's the book for me!). Generally I would consult the concordance first, but the book of James made its way into my mind before I even touched the pages.
My eyes fell on this passage:
This section brought me back to a section in the book of Job when Job is questioning God and God answers with full force:
“Who is this that obscures my plans
with words without knowledge?
Brace yourself like a man;
I will question you,
and you shall answer me.
Doubtful God will provide for this.
Doubtful God will change that.
Is it normal for anyone to have doubts? Yes of course, we're human and have sin festering inside of us. Someone without doubt would seem alien.
Is doubt with God something we need to fight to over come? Well, I think you probably know the answer as best as I...a big, whopping, affirmative.
In order to help aid my feelings of uncertainity I cracked open the B-I-B-L-E (yes that's the book for me!). Generally I would consult the concordance first, but the book of James made its way into my mind before I even touched the pages.
My eyes fell on this passage:
"If you do not have wisdom, ask God for it. He is always ready to give it to you and will never say you are wrong for asking. You must have faith as you ask Him. You must not doubt. Anyone who doubts is like a wave which is pushed around by the sea. Such a man will get nothing from the Lord. The man who has two ways of thinking changes in everything he does."
You must have faith.
You must not doubt.
You must not doubt.
Part of me found it eerie that such words would pop out at such an appropriate time...but at the same time part of me wasn't surprised. The Bible is the living word of God. He speaks to us through it.
This section brought me back to a section in the book of Job when Job is questioning God and God answers with full force:
“Who is this that obscures my plans
with words without knowledge?
Brace yourself like a man;
I will question you,
and you shall answer me.
Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation?
Tell me, if you understand.
Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know!
Who stretched a measuring line across it?
On what were its footings set,
or who laid its cornerstone—
while the morning stars sang together
and all the angels shouted for joy?"
Tell me, if you understand.
Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know!
Who stretched a measuring line across it?
On what were its footings set,
or who laid its cornerstone—
while the morning stars sang together
and all the angels shouted for joy?"
He continues on and on and on as He tells Job all that He has done and has the power to do.
Who am I to let the enemy overcome me with doubt when I know I have a savior and maker who is more powerful. A maker who can produce miracles so mind crippling that science could look foolish.
Have faith my friends, for He makes the impossible possible.
Who am I to let the enemy overcome me with doubt when I know I have a savior and maker who is more powerful. A maker who can produce miracles so mind crippling that science could look foolish.
Have faith my friends, for He makes the impossible possible.
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Love is Patient, Love is Kind...
Tomorrow is Valentine's Day.
A holiday that can be both loved an hated based on the status of one's personal dating or martial relationship situation.
Those who do have a significant other consider February 14th a day of romance, love, and surprises. Whereas some of those (notice how I said some, not all, or even a small majority) without may speak bitterly of how it's a day solely based around shoveling money into greeting card companies and thus choose to boycott said holiday (DOWN WITH SENTIMENTAL NOTES OF VALUE AND SUGAR FILLED COCOA PRODUCTS!).
I myself don't really fall under either. For the first time in about 6 years I do not have an official date for Valentine's Day. Am I crushed? Shamed? So downtrodden with depression that I'm going to watch sappy movies, cry, and consume copious of amounts of chocolate as I come to grips with my current stag situation?
Not at all. (Though, I can't promise you a Hershey kiss or ten wont be eaten. A chocoholic needs to get her fix somehow).
Instead I choose to take this day to focus on the following passage from 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.
Read it again
And again
Ok one more time.
Done.
Everytime I go through that passage a pair of humbling hands place themselves on my heart.
Love is patient.
Love is,
Patient.
Love
Is
Patient
I know I am not always.
It is not easily angered
It is not easily,
Angered.
It
Is
Not
Easily
Angered.
I know that sometimes I am.
I believe that one of the greatest things that we can show to each other is love. I'm not just talking about boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife. I'm talking about anyone. There is not a soul on this planet who is of lesser value than you or I. There is not a soul on this planet who does not deserve to be cared for, respected, or loved.
The best way to do so is by following the words written in that of 1 Corinthians.
"...Love never fails"
A holiday that can be both loved an hated based on the status of one's personal dating or martial relationship situation.
Those who do have a significant other consider February 14th a day of romance, love, and surprises. Whereas some of those (notice how I said some, not all, or even a small majority) without may speak bitterly of how it's a day solely based around shoveling money into greeting card companies and thus choose to boycott said holiday (DOWN WITH SENTIMENTAL NOTES OF VALUE AND SUGAR FILLED COCOA PRODUCTS!).
I myself don't really fall under either. For the first time in about 6 years I do not have an official date for Valentine's Day. Am I crushed? Shamed? So downtrodden with depression that I'm going to watch sappy movies, cry, and consume copious of amounts of chocolate as I come to grips with my current stag situation?
Not at all. (Though, I can't promise you a Hershey kiss or ten wont be eaten. A chocoholic needs to get her fix somehow).
Instead I choose to take this day to focus on the following passage from 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.
"Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
Read it again
And again
Ok one more time.
Done.
Everytime I go through that passage a pair of humbling hands place themselves on my heart.
Love is patient.
Love is,
Patient.
Love
Is
Patient
I know I am not always.
It is not easily angered
It is not easily,
Angered.
It
Is
Not
Easily
Angered.
I know that sometimes I am.
I believe that one of the greatest things that we can show to each other is love. I'm not just talking about boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife. I'm talking about anyone. There is not a soul on this planet who is of lesser value than you or I. There is not a soul on this planet who does not deserve to be cared for, respected, or loved.
The best way to do so is by following the words written in that of 1 Corinthians.
"...Love never fails"
Thursday, January 17, 2013
A Lesson from Romans
It's not rare that I ask a student (or five) in my class why he or she does something that he or she know goes against classroom policies on a daily basis.
Three of the most common reponses from said pupils go something a little like this...
1. Shoulder shrug.
2. "I don't know."
Or the ever popular...
3. Blank stare acting like you just asked them how to solve a physics problem while standing on their head. (It's impossible, believe me...the physics problem part that is.)
Number two though would have to be what I hear spill out of most mouths.
When I was little and was asked why I did something I knew was wrong, I often answered with said response as a way to get out of trouble. Whether it was being mean to my sister, letting grades slip, or bad behavior in general...as a child "I don't know" seemed like a logical answer.
But take a moment to think, were there actually times that you in fact didn't know why you were doing something less than friendly?
In the book of Romans, chapter 7 makes it very clear that, because of sin nature, we often tend to make poor life choices eventhough we know better.
Take a gander at the following passage...
We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
As my frustrations rose today with students as they partook in that they knew very well not to do, God popped those words into my head. Perhaps some of them actually don't mean to do what they are doing, but do it because of their sin nature...that and the fact that the majority of them are 7 and are still learning to control themselves.
Keep in mind though, we need to fight our sin nature. Simply because we as humans are prone to fall to what is wrong, doesn't mean we can't do all we can to make a decision of what is right.
Three of the most common reponses from said pupils go something a little like this...
1. Shoulder shrug.
2. "I don't know."
Or the ever popular...
3. Blank stare acting like you just asked them how to solve a physics problem while standing on their head. (It's impossible, believe me...the physics problem part that is.)
Number two though would have to be what I hear spill out of most mouths.
When I was little and was asked why I did something I knew was wrong, I often answered with said response as a way to get out of trouble. Whether it was being mean to my sister, letting grades slip, or bad behavior in general...as a child "I don't know" seemed like a logical answer.
But take a moment to think, were there actually times that you in fact didn't know why you were doing something less than friendly?
In the book of Romans, chapter 7 makes it very clear that, because of sin nature, we often tend to make poor life choices eventhough we know better.
Take a gander at the following passage...
We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
As my frustrations rose today with students as they partook in that they knew very well not to do, God popped those words into my head. Perhaps some of them actually don't mean to do what they are doing, but do it because of their sin nature...that and the fact that the majority of them are 7 and are still learning to control themselves.
Keep in mind though, we need to fight our sin nature. Simply because we as humans are prone to fall to what is wrong, doesn't mean we can't do all we can to make a decision of what is right.
Friday, January 11, 2013
Pray
Today my heart was softened.
Amongst the rivers of tears the flow from my most dramatic students, I was rescued with a small lifeboat of realization. One of the best possible things I can do for my kids (and well, anyone) is to pray.
In these past 6 months I have seen, heard, and dealt with many of what I was warned about in my education classes. From behavior problems, to more serious family issues, not much is a surprise anymore.
As I sat with my students in carline I watched my remaining children sit patiently (and playfully) as they anxiously waited for their carpool to retrieve them. As I studied them, I couldn't help but sift through my mental file of each of their homelives.
She always asks me to pray that her dad won't get drunk anymore.
His dad left last year.
His mom is doing all she can for full custody.
Her mom works two jobs just to get by.
On and on down the line, my heart broke a little more as I looked at their innocent faces.
Seven years old, and they've experienced more painful things than I ever had or would ever have to. Some not even knowing what that night might bring.
Since then (and possibly a little before) this verse has been playing on repeat in my head...
Amongst the rivers of tears the flow from my most dramatic students, I was rescued with a small lifeboat of realization. One of the best possible things I can do for my kids (and well, anyone) is to pray.
In these past 6 months I have seen, heard, and dealt with many of what I was warned about in my education classes. From behavior problems, to more serious family issues, not much is a surprise anymore.
As I sat with my students in carline I watched my remaining children sit patiently (and playfully) as they anxiously waited for their carpool to retrieve them. As I studied them, I couldn't help but sift through my mental file of each of their homelives.
She always asks me to pray that her dad won't get drunk anymore.
His dad left last year.
His mom is doing all she can for full custody.
Her mom works two jobs just to get by.
On and on down the line, my heart broke a little more as I looked at their innocent faces.
Seven years old, and they've experienced more painful things than I ever had or would ever have to. Some not even knowing what that night might bring.
Since then (and possibly a little before) this verse has been playing on repeat in my head...
"Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you
may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective."
-James 5:16
I cannot control what goes on in the lives of my students once they open the doors of their homes. But I know who can.
So pray and have faith.
The rest is up to God.
So pray and have faith.
The rest is up to God.
Monday, January 7, 2013
Saipan vs. WA
I was hanging out with my friend WB a few nights ago and we began looking at a map in my classroom. I was showing him where I'm from, the states I've been to and the like.
He looked at me, pointed to the map and said something along the lines of this...
"So, you moved from this big mass of land to a dot in the middle of the ocean?"
(said in the nicest way possible of course)
My answer?
"Yeah I guess so."
There are times when I forget how small the place I live on really is. It takes around an hour or so to get from north to south and back again. A trip from east to west is even shorter. Any sort of real roadtrip is out of the question, unless of course you enjoy driving in water. Granted, I've heard a flooded engine is generally a bad thing.
Though I do love the island with its beautiful views, water filled with endless shades of blue, and hospitable locals...I can't help but miss some things about Washington.
First and foremost is my family. I think being away has really helped me appreciate them more and sometimes Skype can only do so much. Now am I saying that it took being over 5,000 miles away to make me love them? Not at all. We might not always agree on things, but we're human and I don't love them any less.
Second would have to be a good, local coffee shop. Walking in and just being consumed with the smell of roasted coffee beans and pasteries (no matter the location) is something that will always remind me of home.
Third is definitely rain. Now, contrary to popular belief the state of Washington is not one big rain puddle. We do have many beautiful, sunny days. But those days when the rain did come, they were cozy. I remember being able to wrap myself up in a big blanket complete with sweats, a sweatshirt, and wool socks. I remember closing my eyes as I sat on our oversized chair and just listening to each droplet beat against my family room window as I sipped hot tea.
I just need to figure out that whole teleportation thing and then I'll be able to enjoy both my homes.
He looked at me, pointed to the map and said something along the lines of this...
"So, you moved from this big mass of land to a dot in the middle of the ocean?"
(said in the nicest way possible of course)
My answer?
"Yeah I guess so."
There are times when I forget how small the place I live on really is. It takes around an hour or so to get from north to south and back again. A trip from east to west is even shorter. Any sort of real roadtrip is out of the question, unless of course you enjoy driving in water. Granted, I've heard a flooded engine is generally a bad thing.
Though I do love the island with its beautiful views, water filled with endless shades of blue, and hospitable locals...I can't help but miss some things about Washington.
First and foremost is my family. I think being away has really helped me appreciate them more and sometimes Skype can only do so much. Now am I saying that it took being over 5,000 miles away to make me love them? Not at all. We might not always agree on things, but we're human and I don't love them any less.
Second would have to be a good, local coffee shop. Walking in and just being consumed with the smell of roasted coffee beans and pasteries (no matter the location) is something that will always remind me of home.
Third is definitely rain. Now, contrary to popular belief the state of Washington is not one big rain puddle. We do have many beautiful, sunny days. But those days when the rain did come, they were cozy. I remember being able to wrap myself up in a big blanket complete with sweats, a sweatshirt, and wool socks. I remember closing my eyes as I sat on our oversized chair and just listening to each droplet beat against my family room window as I sipped hot tea.
I just need to figure out that whole teleportation thing and then I'll be able to enjoy both my homes.
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Resolutions
So I'm generally not one to create lists of resolutions for the New Year, not to mention post it all over the internet for the world to see.
But alas, there is a first time for everything.
My resolutions are as follows:
1. Continual trust in God. All things are possible through him, not matter how impossible it may seem to us. I cannot remind myself enough of this.
2. Teach in a way that not only is helpful to my students but is glorifying to God. (This will definitely include a positive attitude on the days where it can be oh so hard to have one.)
3. Read at least three books before the year is through.
4. Write more. Not only blogging but just personal journaling as well. This may fluctuate based on the given inspirational state though.
But alas, there is a first time for everything.
My resolutions are as follows:
1. Continual trust in God. All things are possible through him, not matter how impossible it may seem to us. I cannot remind myself enough of this.
2. Teach in a way that not only is helpful to my students but is glorifying to God. (This will definitely include a positive attitude on the days where it can be oh so hard to have one.)
3. Read at least three books before the year is through.
4. Write more. Not only blogging but just personal journaling as well. This may fluctuate based on the given inspirational state though.
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