Reflections and Revelations

On the island of Saipan,

In my two bedroom apartment,
I woke-up.
 

Not only did I open my eyes but I also reached for my laptop. A shiny, black laptop.
I clicked onto Facebook to find that in the state of Connecticut, the day of an Elementary school had gone much differently.

On the mainland,
In a state on the eastern side of the country,
27 people were killed.

Not only were they adults, but the vast majority were children killed by bullets. A shiny, black bullet. A man clicked the trigger on his mom, her class, and himself. I can only imagine what the families of all of the above must be going through right now.

Now, before I became a teacher this news wouldn't have had much of an effect on me. I would have been sad for a little bit, but moved on quickly. Yet today when the Facebook statuses and headlines scrolled themselves across the page all I could think about were my own students.

What if a gunman made his way into my classroom and opened fire?
I can just hear the blasts now.

I imagined myself hurrying my students behind my desk and I doing all I can to protect them. I don’t even want to think about it.

Many have responded negatively to this occurance, asking why such a thing could happen or even suggesting that this is why we need to abandon public schools. The latter gave me a sting, not only as a teacher but as someone who spent about 10 or so years in public school.

In reality this could have happened anywhere. Public school, private school, even in the comfort of our own homes.

But what we can’t do is let bad feelings take us over. God is going to bring us through this. It may sound like a cliché Christian thing to say, but it’s so true.

A while back I posted a short blurb with this verse:

"Give justice to the poor and the orphan; uphold the rights of the oppressed and the destitute. Rescue the poor and the helpless; deliver them from evil people."-Psalm 82:3-4

I think this whole school shooting has given me an answer as to why it has been on my heart so much. I believe teaching is a ministry (in reality almost any job can be a ministry) and protecting and taking care of our students is part of that, no matter what.

Merry Christmas

Before I begin, let's take a vote. By show of hands how many of you are tired of hearing "Happy Holidays" and would rather hear "Merry Christmas" instead? Me too.

A few weeks ago we were having dinner at the W's house and JW came across this blurb written by Ben Stein (yes Mr. Bueller Bueller Bueller and Dry Eyes himself). I found it most interesting and wanted to share.

"Herewith at this happy time of year, a few confessions from my beating heart:

I have no freaking clue who Nick and Jessica are. I see them on the cover of People and Us constantly when I am buying my dog biscuits and kitty litter. I often ask the checkers at the grocery stores. They never know who Nick and Jessica are either. Who are they? Will it change my life if I know who they are and why they have broken up? Why are they so important? I don't know who Lindsay Lohan is, either, and I do not care at all about Tom Cruise's wife.

Am I going to be called before a Senate committee and asked if I am a subversive? Maybe, but I just have no clue who Nick and Jessica are. Is this what it means to be no longer young. It's not so bad.Next confession: I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees Christmas trees. I don't feel threatened. I don't feel discriminated against. That's what they are: Christmas trees. It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, "Merry Christmas" to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu. If people want a creche, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.

I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat.

Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship Nick and Jessica and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him?

I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where Nick and Jessica came from and where the America we knew went to."

By posting this am I saying that I can't stand any other Holidays that are celebrated by other religious groups? No not at all, that would be ridiculous.

I just want Christmas to be Christmas.

Sister

Good morning, afternoon, evening...feel free to choose once based on your geographic location.

Today I humbly ask for your prayers for a person who is very important to me, my sister. She has jumped into a pool of trust as she follows God's present calling as a worker in youth ministry
My words alone could not capture all that has inspired her to follow this calling, so if you would like to know more please read her story here:
http://yd.org/about/staff/kyla_de_wit

If you would like to follow her personal reflections about her experiences, take a ganger at this link:
http://kdewitministry.wordpress.com/

Again I ask, please pray for her.

Please pray that she continues to trust God as she goes through the process of fundraising.
Please pray that, even in times of discouragement, she continues to be encouraged.
Please be with both her and Ross and they go through this process together. Help them to learn from not only each other, but most importantly, God.

Yet with all the prayers to be had, there is much to praise God for in this experience as well.
Praise God for the fact that she has been given this opprotunity.
Praise God for the fact that she is being obedient.
Praise God for everything He has provided (and will provide) in her experience.
Praise God for the fact that she has a supportive husband (and family) who will be there to help her every step of the way.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,

and he will make your paths straight."

-Proverbs 3:5-6

Patience

If you've been following this blog for long enough you will know by now that I am a teacher. I also teach a class of students who are a bit out of the ordinary.

Their backgrounds are what say it all. Some come from parents who give them whatever they want, others from abuse, and others still from broken families.

There are times where I'm tested to my limits with them. My voice grows hoarse and I can feel my nostrils flair. Things seemed to be especially tough this week (some may argue it's because of the full moon, I'm still skeptical of such ideas though). All forms of listening went out the window and my worst behaved students just about drove me up the wall.

A few blogs ago I wrote about how, when we find ourselves in difficult situations, we need to ask ourselves, "How is this the best thing God is doing for me?" or "How is He shaping me?" I found myself asking that multiple times. So I would ask him what he's trying to show me. His reply?

Be patient, I'm not done yet.

The other day Principal took the whole staff outside after our morning meeting before school. He had us look out into the ocean, up into the sky, and around the sandy playground. He told us that we wouldn't be here if God didn't have a reason for us to be here. He (God) knows what he's doing. I looked up and saw Principal's crows feet framed eyes look right at me as he said those words.

God provided me with this opprotunity. A job that I don't deserve but he just about handed me on a silver platter. With kids tough enough for me to handle. Now, instead of focusing on the negatives, I need to bless my students. Just like God has showered His blessings on me.

"Let my teaching fall like rain
and my words descend like dew,
like showers on new grass,
like abundant rain on tender plants."
-Deuteronomy 32:2

Only through God can a teacher achieve such a desire.

Baby Boy

Before I get too far in this post let me warn you that it may be a bit sappier than most. Maternal instincts are in full effect...approach with caution.

Tonight, for the first time I held a newborn baby. JW and AW were blessed with a son, we'll call him T, at exactly 5:54 this morning. As he reached the 12th hour of his life AVH and I took the opprotunity to meet him.

I will tell you now, that for the past few years I have had in my mind that kids weren't for me. If anything I'd rather be the aunt who can sugar them up and give them back at the end of the day. (Don't get me wrong, I still plan on doing that...you're welcome in advance Sister and Brother-in-law.) But as I held little T those feelings changed.

I'm not sure exactly what but those negative feelings about having kids of my own seemed to turn. I suddenly realized how amazing it can be to have kids. Maybe it was hearing stories about the support system JW and AW had in the delivery room. Maybe it was seeing the way his parents interacted with him. Maybe it's because I've been thinking a lot about my family and home lately. Or maybe it was just holding him, who knows really. Sometimes reasons are unnecessary.

All I know for sure is that someday I want to be a mom.

Clams

I'm a teacher.

Though a simple title, I've come to find that there are millions of pieces that help make up the puzzle of an educator.

One of those (at least of what I've experienced) includes being a counselor.

Growing up I was blessed to have parents who I could confide in. Parents who I could talk about anything and everything with. A gift from God that I never truly appreciated until I started teaching kids who don't have that.

This past week I met with one of my students and her mom. It was a make-up parent teacher conference. I took a copy of the student's report card out of her file and laid it infront of both of them. With pursed lips her mother scanned the report card, I could see the wheels begin to turn and her eyes narrowed behind her red framed glasses. There is a section on the report cards that has to do with character and attitude. Surprisingly I found that a lot of the parents care more about that section over the actual grades. This mother was no acception. In the box next to "respects authority" I had placed an "N" (meaning that the student needs improvement in that area). Her lips began to tighten and she shot a stare an her daughter, said something sternly in their native tongue, and began talking calmly with me.

Aparently this was something that had been going on the year prior as well. As we discussed I saw the rims of my student's eyes turn red and tears begin to well up.

Now, after years of working with kids (and I know I've said this before) crocodile tears don't phase me. But these were different. Yes perhaps she was upset because she got in trouble with her mom, but the look she gave me made my heart hurt. It was like she was terrified of what was going to happen. I tried to talk with my pupil but she sat frozen. Her mom openly (and almost proudly) told me that her daughter was afraid of her and probably wouldn't say much. Those words stung as they entered my ear canals. This student was comfortable telling me anything, but was clam-like when it came to saying anything around her mom. I had a similiar experience when I talked with another student and his dad.

Why is that I wonder, perhaps it's a cultural thing.

What I do know is that being a teacher holds a lot of responsibility, many of which is emotional. Not only of yourself but the students as well. I think what the best thing a teacher can do is to listen. No matter what the circumstance, just be an ear. Your patience and willingness to let the student speak may go farther than you imagine. Even when it can, at times, be difficult.

Matthew 19:14 states "Jesus said, 'Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.'"

As a teacher, let them come to you and let them speak.

The Best Thing

We've all had situations that have upset us.

Something breaks.
Chronic illness attacks a family member
Relationships don't go as planned.
Anything really.

I was watching a vlog by a man named Matthew Hussey, I think he's a motivational speaker or something. I don't know. But in one of his vlogs he was talking about bad situations and how people tend to play the part of the victim.

I will admit I've done this, I'm sure we all have at one point or another.

But there was one specific thing he said as he jabbered on in his British accent. He said "Ask yourself, how is this the best thing that could happen?"

The best thing that could happen.

The best thing
that
could
happen.

Now that's just an attitude changer isn't it?

In the book of James (a personal favorite of mine) there is a passage that goes like this:

^"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." (James 1:2-4)

God is working on all of us, and will continue to mold and shape us until our time on Earth is through. I wonder what would happen if we took the advice of both Mr. Hussey and James.

Perhaps, instead of taking unfavorable circumstances as an attack, we could ask ourselves, how is this the best thing that God has done for me?