Pray

Today my heart was softened.

Amongst the rivers of tears the flow from my most dramatic students, I was rescued with a small lifeboat of realization. One of the best possible things I can do for my kids (and well, anyone) is to pray.

In these past 6 months I have seen, heard, and dealt with many of what I was warned about in my education classes. From behavior problems, to more serious family issues, not much is a surprise anymore.

As I sat with my students in carline I watched my remaining children sit patiently (and playfully) as they anxiously waited for their carpool to retrieve them. As I studied them, I couldn't help but sift through my mental file of each of their homelives.

She always asks me to pray that her dad won't get drunk anymore.
His dad left last year.
His mom is doing all she can for full custody.
Her mom works two jobs just to get by.
On and on down the line, my heart broke a little more as I looked at their innocent faces.

Seven years old, and they've experienced more painful things than I ever had or would ever have to. Some not even knowing what that night might bring.

Since then (and possibly a little before) this verse has been playing on repeat in my head...

"Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective."

-James 5:16

 

I cannot control what goes on in the lives of my students once they open the doors of their homes. But I know who can.

So pray and have faith.
The rest is up to God.

Saipan vs. WA

I was hanging out with my friend WB a few nights ago and we began looking at a map in my classroom. I was showing him where I'm from, the states I've been to and the like.

He looked at me, pointed to the map and said something along the lines of this...

"So, you moved from this big mass of land to a dot in the middle of the ocean?"
(said in the nicest way possible of course)

My answer?

"Yeah I guess so."

There are times when I forget how small the place I live on really is. It takes around an hour or so to get from north to south and back again. A trip from east to west is even shorter. Any sort of real roadtrip is out of the question, unless of course you enjoy driving in water. Granted, I've heard a flooded engine is generally a bad thing.

Though I do love the island with its beautiful views, water filled with endless shades of blue, and hospitable locals...I can't help but miss some things about Washington.

First and foremost is my family. I think being away has really helped me appreciate them more and sometimes Skype can only do so much. Now am I saying that it took being over 5,000 miles away to make me love them? Not at all. We might not always agree on things, but we're human and I don't love them any less.

Second would have to be a good, local coffee shop. Walking in and just being consumed with the smell of roasted coffee beans and pasteries (no matter the location) is something that will always remind me of home.

Third is definitely rain. Now, contrary to popular belief the state of Washington is not one big rain puddle. We do have many beautiful, sunny days. But those days when the rain did come, they were cozy. I remember being able to wrap myself up in a big blanket complete with sweats, a sweatshirt, and wool socks. I remember closing my eyes as I sat on our oversized chair and just listening to each droplet beat against my family room window as I sipped hot tea.

I just need to figure out that whole teleportation thing and then I'll be able to enjoy both my homes.

Resolutions

So I'm generally not one to create lists of resolutions for the New Year, not to mention post it all over the internet for the world to see.

But alas, there is a first time for everything.

My resolutions are as follows:

1. Continual trust in God. All things are possible through him, not matter how impossible it may seem to us. I cannot remind myself enough of this.
2. Teach in a way that not only is helpful to my students but is glorifying to God. (This will definitely include a positive attitude on the days where it can be oh so hard to have one.)
3. Read at least three books before the year is through.
4. Write more. Not only blogging but just personal journaling as well. This may fluctuate based on the given inspirational state though.

Restaurant Musings

First of all, let me apologize for the randomosity (randomosity? eh...we'll go with it) that will ensue in this post. In all honesty part of the reason why I'm posting this is because I really just wanted to write.

It is currently Sunday evening and I'm sitting in a restuarant I was in about seven hours prior for lunch. Generally, if I return a second time during the day it's with papers to grade. However, now that we are on Christmas Break, I'm a bit at a loss of things to do. Am I complaining? No, not at all. Infact, I welcome such a break with open arms. Which again, brings me back to the main point of this blog. To just write.

A chance to just let every creative thought just flow into my fingers, out onto the keyboard, and eventually form themselves into words on this page.

At this current moment I'm sitting in a booth next to a window. Floating, ball-like lamps are hanging above me like ominus globes and to my immediate left sits a banana smoothie. (I'm pretty sure I never ate as many banana related foods as I have before I made it to the island. But I digress.) Upon a wooden table it sits with condensation running down the sides. The glass of the cup it resides inside is as ridged as the waves a few yards away. A pink straw pokes its way out of the frozen concoction and sits staring at me. My least favorite color touching one of my most favorite treats. Well, at least it's functional. Slowly the liquid insides are beginning to decrease. I can't complain though. Every empty space in my glass means a filled space in my stomach.

Waiters and waitresses rush to and fro writing down and delivering orders. I almost feel kind of bad just sitting here and watching them burn as many calories as I just ate. I hope they know their efforts are appreciated. I also hope they haven't had any rude customers today.

Well, my banana smoothie is empty and my current inhabitance closes in about an hour.
We shall see what happends between now and then.

Good eve to you all!

An Unpolitically Correct Christmas

I wrote this a few years ago for a Christmas Eve service at my church, enjoy!

An Unpolitically Correct Christmas

Happy Holidays

Happy put out your blow up Santa,

And matching snowman,

Days.

 

Happy rush until you find,

The perfect $300 dollar,

Designer brand,

Silk,

Imported from Italy,

Striped tie,

Days.

Happy look what I got,

My parents spent more money,

Than yours,

Because my present is bigger,

Days.

 

But what about Christmas?

 

What about the virgin,

Who carried a child,

As she rode on a Donkey,

Miles and miles to Bethlehem?

What about the anxiety,

The fear,

The excitement,

The joy,

She must have felt,

As she moved forward,

On that long,

Bumpy,

Dusty,

Road.

What about the man

The man who supported her,

Every longing step forward,

The carpenter,

That soon became the unexpected father,

Of our messiah?

What about the baby

Whose blood had the power,

To take,

A world,

Of pain,

Away from

You and me?

So take back your holidays,

Your decorations,

Your overpriced gifts,

That will soon break,

Or go out of style.

And give me back,

Christmas.

Christ,

Mas

 

Reflections and Revelations

On the island of Saipan,

In my two bedroom apartment,
I woke-up.
 

Not only did I open my eyes but I also reached for my laptop. A shiny, black laptop.
I clicked onto Facebook to find that in the state of Connecticut, the day of an Elementary school had gone much differently.

On the mainland,
In a state on the eastern side of the country,
27 people were killed.

Not only were they adults, but the vast majority were children killed by bullets. A shiny, black bullet. A man clicked the trigger on his mom, her class, and himself. I can only imagine what the families of all of the above must be going through right now.

Now, before I became a teacher this news wouldn't have had much of an effect on me. I would have been sad for a little bit, but moved on quickly. Yet today when the Facebook statuses and headlines scrolled themselves across the page all I could think about were my own students.

What if a gunman made his way into my classroom and opened fire?
I can just hear the blasts now.

I imagined myself hurrying my students behind my desk and I doing all I can to protect them. I don’t even want to think about it.

Many have responded negatively to this occurance, asking why such a thing could happen or even suggesting that this is why we need to abandon public schools. The latter gave me a sting, not only as a teacher but as someone who spent about 10 or so years in public school.

In reality this could have happened anywhere. Public school, private school, even in the comfort of our own homes.

But what we can’t do is let bad feelings take us over. God is going to bring us through this. It may sound like a cliché Christian thing to say, but it’s so true.

A while back I posted a short blurb with this verse:

"Give justice to the poor and the orphan; uphold the rights of the oppressed and the destitute. Rescue the poor and the helpless; deliver them from evil people."-Psalm 82:3-4

I think this whole school shooting has given me an answer as to why it has been on my heart so much. I believe teaching is a ministry (in reality almost any job can be a ministry) and protecting and taking care of our students is part of that, no matter what.

Merry Christmas

Before I begin, let's take a vote. By show of hands how many of you are tired of hearing "Happy Holidays" and would rather hear "Merry Christmas" instead? Me too.

A few weeks ago we were having dinner at the W's house and JW came across this blurb written by Ben Stein (yes Mr. Bueller Bueller Bueller and Dry Eyes himself). I found it most interesting and wanted to share.

"Herewith at this happy time of year, a few confessions from my beating heart:

I have no freaking clue who Nick and Jessica are. I see them on the cover of People and Us constantly when I am buying my dog biscuits and kitty litter. I often ask the checkers at the grocery stores. They never know who Nick and Jessica are either. Who are they? Will it change my life if I know who they are and why they have broken up? Why are they so important? I don't know who Lindsay Lohan is, either, and I do not care at all about Tom Cruise's wife.

Am I going to be called before a Senate committee and asked if I am a subversive? Maybe, but I just have no clue who Nick and Jessica are. Is this what it means to be no longer young. It's not so bad.Next confession: I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees Christmas trees. I don't feel threatened. I don't feel discriminated against. That's what they are: Christmas trees. It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, "Merry Christmas" to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu. If people want a creche, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.

I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat.

Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship Nick and Jessica and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him?

I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where Nick and Jessica came from and where the America we knew went to."

By posting this am I saying that I can't stand any other Holidays that are celebrated by other religious groups? No not at all, that would be ridiculous.

I just want Christmas to be Christmas.