It's not rare that I ask a student (or five) in my class why he or she does something that he or she know goes against classroom policies on a daily basis.
Three of the most common reponses from said pupils go something a little like this...
1. Shoulder shrug.
2. "I don't know."
Or the ever popular...
3. Blank stare acting like you just asked them how to solve a physics problem while standing on their head. (It's impossible, believe me...the physics problem part that is.)
Number two though would have to be what I hear spill out of most mouths.
When I was little and was asked why I did something I knew was wrong, I often answered with said response as a way to get out of trouble. Whether it was being mean to my sister, letting grades slip, or bad behavior in general...as a child "I don't know" seemed like a logical answer.
But take a moment to think, were there actually times that you in fact didn't know why you were doing something less than friendly?
In the book of Romans, chapter 7 makes it very clear that, because of sin nature, we often tend to make poor life choices eventhough we know better.
Take a gander at the following passage...
We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
As my frustrations rose today with students as they partook in that they knew very well not to do, God popped those words into my head. Perhaps some of them actually don't mean to do what they are doing, but do it because of their sin nature...that and the fact that the majority of them are 7 and are still learning to control themselves.
Keep in mind though, we need to fight our sin nature. Simply because we as humans are prone to fall to what is wrong, doesn't mean we can't do all we can to make a decision of what is right.
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Friday, January 11, 2013
Pray
Today my heart was softened.
Amongst the rivers of tears the flow from my most dramatic students, I was rescued with a small lifeboat of realization. One of the best possible things I can do for my kids (and well, anyone) is to pray.
In these past 6 months I have seen, heard, and dealt with many of what I was warned about in my education classes. From behavior problems, to more serious family issues, not much is a surprise anymore.
As I sat with my students in carline I watched my remaining children sit patiently (and playfully) as they anxiously waited for their carpool to retrieve them. As I studied them, I couldn't help but sift through my mental file of each of their homelives.
She always asks me to pray that her dad won't get drunk anymore.
His dad left last year.
His mom is doing all she can for full custody.
Her mom works two jobs just to get by.
On and on down the line, my heart broke a little more as I looked at their innocent faces.
Seven years old, and they've experienced more painful things than I ever had or would ever have to. Some not even knowing what that night might bring.
Since then (and possibly a little before) this verse has been playing on repeat in my head...
Amongst the rivers of tears the flow from my most dramatic students, I was rescued with a small lifeboat of realization. One of the best possible things I can do for my kids (and well, anyone) is to pray.
In these past 6 months I have seen, heard, and dealt with many of what I was warned about in my education classes. From behavior problems, to more serious family issues, not much is a surprise anymore.
As I sat with my students in carline I watched my remaining children sit patiently (and playfully) as they anxiously waited for their carpool to retrieve them. As I studied them, I couldn't help but sift through my mental file of each of their homelives.
She always asks me to pray that her dad won't get drunk anymore.
His dad left last year.
His mom is doing all she can for full custody.
Her mom works two jobs just to get by.
On and on down the line, my heart broke a little more as I looked at their innocent faces.
Seven years old, and they've experienced more painful things than I ever had or would ever have to. Some not even knowing what that night might bring.
Since then (and possibly a little before) this verse has been playing on repeat in my head...
"Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you
may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective."
-James 5:16
I cannot control what goes on in the lives of my students once they open the doors of their homes. But I know who can.
So pray and have faith.
The rest is up to God.
So pray and have faith.
The rest is up to God.
Monday, January 7, 2013
Saipan vs. WA
I was hanging out with my friend WB a few nights ago and we began looking at a map in my classroom. I was showing him where I'm from, the states I've been to and the like.
He looked at me, pointed to the map and said something along the lines of this...
"So, you moved from this big mass of land to a dot in the middle of the ocean?"
(said in the nicest way possible of course)
My answer?
"Yeah I guess so."
There are times when I forget how small the place I live on really is. It takes around an hour or so to get from north to south and back again. A trip from east to west is even shorter. Any sort of real roadtrip is out of the question, unless of course you enjoy driving in water. Granted, I've heard a flooded engine is generally a bad thing.
Though I do love the island with its beautiful views, water filled with endless shades of blue, and hospitable locals...I can't help but miss some things about Washington.
First and foremost is my family. I think being away has really helped me appreciate them more and sometimes Skype can only do so much. Now am I saying that it took being over 5,000 miles away to make me love them? Not at all. We might not always agree on things, but we're human and I don't love them any less.
Second would have to be a good, local coffee shop. Walking in and just being consumed with the smell of roasted coffee beans and pasteries (no matter the location) is something that will always remind me of home.
Third is definitely rain. Now, contrary to popular belief the state of Washington is not one big rain puddle. We do have many beautiful, sunny days. But those days when the rain did come, they were cozy. I remember being able to wrap myself up in a big blanket complete with sweats, a sweatshirt, and wool socks. I remember closing my eyes as I sat on our oversized chair and just listening to each droplet beat against my family room window as I sipped hot tea.
I just need to figure out that whole teleportation thing and then I'll be able to enjoy both my homes.
He looked at me, pointed to the map and said something along the lines of this...
"So, you moved from this big mass of land to a dot in the middle of the ocean?"
(said in the nicest way possible of course)
My answer?
"Yeah I guess so."
There are times when I forget how small the place I live on really is. It takes around an hour or so to get from north to south and back again. A trip from east to west is even shorter. Any sort of real roadtrip is out of the question, unless of course you enjoy driving in water. Granted, I've heard a flooded engine is generally a bad thing.
Though I do love the island with its beautiful views, water filled with endless shades of blue, and hospitable locals...I can't help but miss some things about Washington.
First and foremost is my family. I think being away has really helped me appreciate them more and sometimes Skype can only do so much. Now am I saying that it took being over 5,000 miles away to make me love them? Not at all. We might not always agree on things, but we're human and I don't love them any less.
Second would have to be a good, local coffee shop. Walking in and just being consumed with the smell of roasted coffee beans and pasteries (no matter the location) is something that will always remind me of home.
Third is definitely rain. Now, contrary to popular belief the state of Washington is not one big rain puddle. We do have many beautiful, sunny days. But those days when the rain did come, they were cozy. I remember being able to wrap myself up in a big blanket complete with sweats, a sweatshirt, and wool socks. I remember closing my eyes as I sat on our oversized chair and just listening to each droplet beat against my family room window as I sipped hot tea.
I just need to figure out that whole teleportation thing and then I'll be able to enjoy both my homes.
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Resolutions
So I'm generally not one to create lists of resolutions for the New Year, not to mention post it all over the internet for the world to see.
But alas, there is a first time for everything.
My resolutions are as follows:
1. Continual trust in God. All things are possible through him, not matter how impossible it may seem to us. I cannot remind myself enough of this.
2. Teach in a way that not only is helpful to my students but is glorifying to God. (This will definitely include a positive attitude on the days where it can be oh so hard to have one.)
3. Read at least three books before the year is through.
4. Write more. Not only blogging but just personal journaling as well. This may fluctuate based on the given inspirational state though.
But alas, there is a first time for everything.
My resolutions are as follows:
1. Continual trust in God. All things are possible through him, not matter how impossible it may seem to us. I cannot remind myself enough of this.
2. Teach in a way that not only is helpful to my students but is glorifying to God. (This will definitely include a positive attitude on the days where it can be oh so hard to have one.)
3. Read at least three books before the year is through.
4. Write more. Not only blogging but just personal journaling as well. This may fluctuate based on the given inspirational state though.
Sunday, December 23, 2012
Restaurant Musings
First of all, let me apologize for the randomosity (randomosity? eh...we'll go with it) that will ensue in this post. In all honesty part of the reason why I'm posting this is because I really just wanted to write.
It is currently Sunday evening and I'm sitting in a restuarant I was in about seven hours prior for lunch. Generally, if I return a second time during the day it's with papers to grade. However, now that we are on Christmas Break, I'm a bit at a loss of things to do. Am I complaining? No, not at all. Infact, I welcome such a break with open arms. Which again, brings me back to the main point of this blog. To just write.
A chance to just let every creative thought just flow into my fingers, out onto the keyboard, and eventually form themselves into words on this page.
At this current moment I'm sitting in a booth next to a window. Floating, ball-like lamps are hanging above me like ominus globes and to my immediate left sits a banana smoothie. (I'm pretty sure I never ate as many banana related foods as I have before I made it to the island. But I digress.) Upon a wooden table it sits with condensation running down the sides. The glass of the cup it resides inside is as ridged as the waves a few yards away. A pink straw pokes its way out of the frozen concoction and sits staring at me. My least favorite color touching one of my most favorite treats. Well, at least it's functional. Slowly the liquid insides are beginning to decrease. I can't complain though. Every empty space in my glass means a filled space in my stomach.
Waiters and waitresses rush to and fro writing down and delivering orders. I almost feel kind of bad just sitting here and watching them burn as many calories as I just ate. I hope they know their efforts are appreciated. I also hope they haven't had any rude customers today.
Well, my banana smoothie is empty and my current inhabitance closes in about an hour.
We shall see what happends between now and then.
Good eve to you all!
It is currently Sunday evening and I'm sitting in a restuarant I was in about seven hours prior for lunch. Generally, if I return a second time during the day it's with papers to grade. However, now that we are on Christmas Break, I'm a bit at a loss of things to do. Am I complaining? No, not at all. Infact, I welcome such a break with open arms. Which again, brings me back to the main point of this blog. To just write.
A chance to just let every creative thought just flow into my fingers, out onto the keyboard, and eventually form themselves into words on this page.
At this current moment I'm sitting in a booth next to a window. Floating, ball-like lamps are hanging above me like ominus globes and to my immediate left sits a banana smoothie. (I'm pretty sure I never ate as many banana related foods as I have before I made it to the island. But I digress.) Upon a wooden table it sits with condensation running down the sides. The glass of the cup it resides inside is as ridged as the waves a few yards away. A pink straw pokes its way out of the frozen concoction and sits staring at me. My least favorite color touching one of my most favorite treats. Well, at least it's functional. Slowly the liquid insides are beginning to decrease. I can't complain though. Every empty space in my glass means a filled space in my stomach.
Waiters and waitresses rush to and fro writing down and delivering orders. I almost feel kind of bad just sitting here and watching them burn as many calories as I just ate. I hope they know their efforts are appreciated. I also hope they haven't had any rude customers today.
Well, my banana smoothie is empty and my current inhabitance closes in about an hour.
We shall see what happends between now and then.
Good eve to you all!
Sunday, December 16, 2012
An Unpolitically Correct Christmas
I wrote this a few years ago for a Christmas Eve service at my church, enjoy!
An Unpolitically Correct Christmas
Happy Holidays
An Unpolitically Correct Christmas
Happy Holidays
Happy put
out your blow up Santa,
And matching
snowman,
Days.
Happy rush
until you find,
The perfect
$300 dollar,
Designer
brand,
Silk,
Imported
from Italy,
Striped tie,
Days.
Happy look
what I got,
My parents
spent more money,
Than yours,
Because my
present is bigger,
Days.
But what
about Christmas?
What about
the virgin,
Who carried
a child,
As she rode
on a Donkey,
Miles and miles
to Bethlehem?
What about
the anxiety,
The fear,
The
excitement,
The joy,
She must
have felt,
As she moved
forward,
On that
long,
Bumpy,
Dusty,
Road.
What about
the man
The man who
supported her,
Every
longing step forward,
The
carpenter,
That soon became
the unexpected father,
Of our
messiah?
What about
the baby
Whose blood
had the power,
To take,
A world,
Of pain,
Away from
You and me?
So take back
your holidays,
Your
decorations,
Your
overpriced gifts,
That will
soon break,
Or go out of
style.
And give me
back,
Christmas.
Christ,
Mas
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Reflections and Revelations
On the island of Saipan,
In my two bedroom apartment,
I woke-up.
I woke-up.
Not only did I open my eyes but I also reached for my laptop. A shiny, black
laptop.
I clicked onto Facebook to find that in the state of Connecticut, the day of an Elementary school had gone much differently.
On the mainland,
In a state on the eastern side of the country,
27 people were killed.
Not only were they adults, but the vast majority were children killed by bullets. A shiny, black bullet. A man clicked the trigger on his mom, her class, and himself. I can only imagine what the families of all of the above must be going through right now.
Now, before I became a teacher this news wouldn't have had much of an effect on me. I would have been sad for a little bit, but moved on quickly. Yet today when the Facebook statuses and headlines scrolled themselves across the page all I could think about were my own students.
What if a gunman made his way into my classroom and opened fire?
I can just hear the blasts now.
I imagined myself hurrying my students behind my desk and I doing all I can to protect them. I don’t even want to think about it.
I clicked onto Facebook to find that in the state of Connecticut, the day of an Elementary school had gone much differently.
On the mainland,
In a state on the eastern side of the country,
27 people were killed.
Not only were they adults, but the vast majority were children killed by bullets. A shiny, black bullet. A man clicked the trigger on his mom, her class, and himself. I can only imagine what the families of all of the above must be going through right now.
Now, before I became a teacher this news wouldn't have had much of an effect on me. I would have been sad for a little bit, but moved on quickly. Yet today when the Facebook statuses and headlines scrolled themselves across the page all I could think about were my own students.
What if a gunman made his way into my classroom and opened fire?
I can just hear the blasts now.
I imagined myself hurrying my students behind my desk and I doing all I can to protect them. I don’t even want to think about it.
Many have responded negatively to this occurance, asking why such a thing could happen
or even suggesting that this is why we need to abandon public schools. The
latter gave me a sting, not only as a teacher but as someone who spent about 10
or so years in public school.
In reality this could have happened anywhere. Public school, private school, even in the comfort of our own homes.
But what we can’t do is let bad feelings take us over. God is going to bring us through this. It may sound like a cliché Christian thing to say, but it’s so true.
A while back I posted a short blurb with this verse:
In reality this could have happened anywhere. Public school, private school, even in the comfort of our own homes.
But what we can’t do is let bad feelings take us over. God is going to bring us through this. It may sound like a cliché Christian thing to say, but it’s so true.
A while back I posted a short blurb with this verse:
"Give
justice to the poor and the orphan; uphold the rights of the oppressed and the
destitute. Rescue the poor and the helpless; deliver them from evil
people."-Psalm 82:3-4
I think this whole school shooting has given me an answer as to why it has been on my heart so much. I believe teaching is a ministry (in reality almost any job can be a ministry) and protecting and taking care of our students is part of that, no matter what.
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