"To Love Someone is to See the Face of God" -Victor Hugo

So, another Valentines Day is inching its way ever closer. Said holiday is perhaps one of the more (in my humble opinion) entertaining that we as humans celebrate annually.

It's not so much the day itself that I find amusing, but more the way people respond to it. On one side you have those who are dead set against it. It's merely a scam set up by greeting card companies to heartlessly gobble up your dollars.

On the polar opposite side of the spectrum there are those who go perhaps a little too overboard. But who said a teddy bear that reaches the ceiling, diamonds, and pounds of chocolate was a bad thing? (Okay so that might be embellishing a tad, but you get it.)

Then there are people like me. The stag onlooker who falls somewhere in the middle. I have nothing against Valentines Day. I actually find it to be relatively sweet (no pun intended, or maybe it is...I'll let you decide). Take away all the flashy gifts and cavity threatening treats and what it boils down to is a celebration of love.

Love

L
O
V
E

Love

A relatively intimidating word if you think about it. The dictionary defines love in a multitude of ways, but I think the best description they have is this: "a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person." An explanation I couldn't with agree more.

When it comes to dating relationships, I suppose you could say I'm well seasoned. I've learned how to love someone and what it takes to keep that love going. That "profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person" and I have met before. However the act of being "in love" is something I'm still in the process of figuring out.

When I think of being in love I imagine two people carrying said feelings of passionate affection equally. Yet not just equally, but in a sense that is so overwhelmingly strong for each other that it aches. Not one of the people is loving stronger or more than the other, but sharing such a beautiful God given gift in a way that is unexplainable.

I will admit that there was a time that I didn't believe in love. A few years ago, after a few bad break-ups, I didn't believe that it was possible to find love and keep it. To me love was a dead thing that was nothing more than a glorified Hollywood fantasy that movie stars acted out.

You could say my heart grew a bit bitter.

Some time later I was flipping through my Bible and I found this verse from 1 John 4:8:

Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.

I read it again.
And again.
And again.

God is love. The fact that I didn't believe in the existence of love, was almost like saying that I didn't believe in the existence of God. Blocking my heart of all possibilities of such affection from another (in a romantic sense) also blocked out all possibilities of such affection from my creator and heavenly Father.

Ever since, my heart has been softened, still protected, yet more open to the fact that being in love with someone is possible.

Now if only God could tell me when...until then I Happy Valentine's Day :)

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

So I have to admit, I've been putting off writing this blog.

Why? Well in all honesty I didn't really know how to write it, but I figure now is as good of time as ever.

As some of you already know, I've been living on the island of Saipan for the past 1 1/2 years. To say it has been a blessing would be an understatement. Not only have I had the ability to live in a postcard picture perfect place, but the relationships I've made with the people here have been phenomenal. Life changing even.

So where do I go from here?

I've wrestled with this decision since summer and beyond. Do I stay? Do I go? (Darling you've got to let me know...don't pretend like you weren't thinking the same thing.) It was a conundrum I did my best to stuff into the farthest corners of my mind for the longest possible amount of time. (Letter of intent? What's that? No crucial decision making needs here!)

After much prayer (like months of it), petition (hah, more like arguments with yourself and God (Yes, she talks to herself..hey look she's doing it right now! (Do you realize that she just put parenthesis inside of parenthesis inside of parenthesis?)), and patience . I've decided....



















...to rejoin my overly caffeinated hipsters and move back to the place where I once belonged. Washington.

Don't worry my island loves, I will always have a Saipan shaped hole in my heart just for you.

I Am Thankful For....

Alright, so the topic of this blog was inevitable.
Without further ado, my "I am thankful for..." list.

I am thankful for...

-The fact that I can worship God freely without fear of persecution  (or execution for that matter).
-My family.
-Supportive parents I am close to who have high expectations.
-A sister and brother-in-law who I can talk about anything with.
-The consistent knowledge of where my next meal will come from.
-My job.
-A high metabolism. (It's a blessing and a curse, but I am thankful for it either way.)
-My Saipan family.
-Friends.
-All the teachers I have had who cared and pushed me to be better than my best.
-A bed with a pillow, sheets, and a blanket to sleep on.
-Clothes.
-A car.
-Socks. (Being a person who always has cold feet, socks are a must!)
-Shoes.
-A refrigerator.
-Financial stability.
-Good health.

The list is endless.

Amongst the discontentment that sneaks its way into my life, I need to remind myself how truly fortunate I am. Approximately 80% of the world lives on less than $10 a day, I am overwhelmingly blessed to be part of the 20% who is secure.

"Give thanks to the Lord for He is good; His love endures forever."
-Psalm 107:1

Happy Thanksgiving!

Every Tongue Confess

I am a lover of languages. I always have been and always will. I remember when I was in preschool quite a few of my classmates were Asian and would speak in their native tongues to each other. The  different intonations and sounds intrigued me. Although I had no idea what they were saying, it fascinated me that they could communicate to each other in different way (almost like a secret code if you will.)

If I had the time (and money) I would learn every possible language. After all, what better way is there to communicate than verbal? Having the ability to simply switch languages when necessary is a gift many have, but not all appreciate. In my current classroom I have kids who range from mono- to over trilingual. There have been times in class when my students will say "Ms. Jameson talk in your other language." I'll teach for a little bit in Spanish, but apologize and continue with a response of "English is really my only language."

Lately I have found that languages move me most when incorporated into worship songs.

One of my friends recently showed me a world edition of How Great is Our God.

Watch it.
Watch it again.

There are no words

Having the ability to see different brothers and sisters worshiping Christ in their heart languages is overwhelming. I think sometimes I personally forget that English is not the only appropriate translation for these songs.

Seeing people bursting and belting out words in a tongue so beautifully unfamiliar is something that I can't help but get choked up about. It reminds me that even though they live so far away, God's presence is still within their country. No matter if Christianity has been outlawed or not, God is still there. He fills the heart of people and gives them the freedom to sing even if they don't have it.

How great our God is.

When I'm 24

On Tuesday October 8, 2013 the numbers of my age changed from 23 to 24.

Not a huge leap, in fact it's times like this where I've come to realize that the importance of birthday celebrations has gone downhill.

At 15 I got my permit.
At 16 I got my license.
At 18 I morphed from a minor to an "adult."
At 21 alcohol beverages became an option.

Anything after has just become another birthday.

If I were to look back 10 years and compare my current living situation to what I had anticipated my life would be like, the result is relatively laughable. (I mean that in good spirit).

When I was 14, 24 looked like that following...

I'd be married.
I'd have a high-paying job.
I'd have a house.
I'd have a kid.

The typical American dream panned out in a preteen fantasy.

Though I haven't accomplished any of the above (for a few of those ideals, it's probably best that I haven't), I am happy to say that within those ten years of dreaming I've gained much needed wisdom and experience.

I'm not married and I don't know when I will be. However, through the dating relationships I have had, I've learned the importance of give and take, communication, respect, you name it. Qualities and knowledge that will help me to be better prepared for when I do join my life with my future husband.

I don't have a high paying job. In fact, I'm probably the poorest I've ever been. Yet, in all honesty, I'm glad my pay check is small. Though the first year was rough, I would not trade my current profession for the world. As a teacher I have received so much undeserved love. Every sweaty, post recess hug. Every handmade drawing. Every moment when I see a kid's eyes light-up because he or she finally understands something. There is nothing I can compare it to.

I don't have a kid. I have fourteen, more if you count the other ones outside of my class that I've gotten to know well. It's strange how maternal I become to each of my students. There are still times when I can't believe that I can control over 10 kids at one time. Yet with each victory and failure, stomachache and fever, I treat these kids as if they were my own.


I praise God for the life He has given me. Though it may not have turned out the way I had wanted when I was 14, it became what I needed at 24.

Here's to another 10 years.

This is No Paradise

When I say I live on an island, what would come to your mind first?

Palm trees?
White sand beaches?
Drinking out of a coconut?
Tropical fish swimming to and fro?
Tanning yourself into an early stage of melanoma?

How about drug use?
Teen pregnancy?
Poverty?
Robbery?
Rape?
Domestic violence?

Before I go on, let me be the first to say that I really do love my island home. I have never felt in danger or at risk whilst living here. Instead I feel engulfed in a community of love and support. I live not in fear here, but with a use of caution. (Basically just don't make stupid life choices and you should have no problem).

Though, tonight caused some of us to be quite shaken up.

In back of my living quarters is a park. Well, by day it's a park. By night it's a mass of land that many of us try to avoid. From drug deals, to sex, to what happened tonight: abuse.

From the inside of my sealed apartment all I heard was a prolonged horn honk and the piercing screech of tires. From those who witnessed the violence, a more blood boiling story occurred.

O told me that apparently there were loud noises (as if to be a bat bashing itself up against something) and voices were coming from said location. Many gathered at the back fence to see what the commotion was about. Soon a female's voice was heard.

"Why are you hurting me?"
"Why are you doing this to me?"

It was as if the words coming out of her mouth were a broken record.

The noises continued.
Soon tires screeched and the voices stopped.
Hearing such things gave me (and still does give me) an eerie, livid feeling.

(Again, keep in mind I heard it second hand, so some details may be missing)

O continued with saying that JW and R went to check everything out once the abuser and abused had departed.

Cement bricks lay freshly smashed into pieces on the ground.

Perhaps you're wondering, "Well where was the police in all of this? Someone should have called them!"

As everything happened a phone was picked up, the appropriate digits were dialed, and the anticipation of the police's arrival grew.

They never came.

An irreplaceable human life being damaged by another person happening right before our eyes and all we can do is watch as her bruises grow.

Sometimes I forget how broken we as people (not just here, but everywhere) really are.

Please pray.

For the island
For its people
For the human race

Things like this don't just go away.

Subway Musings

I never went to Subway all that much until I moved to Saipan.

It's not that I didn't enjoy said restaurant, I did, I guess it never really crossed my mind to go to a sub shop when my stomach had the hunger gurgles. I mean if you think about it when given the choice of pizza or a sandwich I have to be honest, I'd rather have a big, greasy slice of pepperoni instead of turkey on wheat.

Since my return from Thailand I have frequented this food source a couple times (thanks to a gift card I found from a former student...Ahhhh YEAH) and let me tell you, each time I return is always an experience.

As I slowly open the glass door in order to enter said restaurant I am greeted with a familiar, and relatively obnoxious tune that rings at an unsettling volume. Such a jingle has been stuck in my head multiple times before with minimal ways of getting out.

Onward into the line I step as I watch sandwich artists carefully piece each creation together. I give my order and my friendly Subway worker takes it and runs. He slices open the bread and fashions the meats, cheeses, vegetables, and condiments in such a way the most talented of sculptors would be proud. Down the line it goes until its wrapped in its name brand packaging and ready to be consumed.

Such an experience kind of makes me think of the creation of people. God gives us a body, think of that as the bread. A simple canvas to go off of. Though we all come in different shapes and sizes, a good majority of us have the same basic frame. But soon he molds us into completely different and original masterpieces. Thus comes the veggies, cheese, what have you. If you think about it, no two people are the exact same...even identical twins. The amount of creativity that our maker has is unfathomable. It still baffles me how he can come up with billions of different faces and features for billions of different people. At last he wraps us, not in Subway paper, but his arms. Arms of protection, love, and saving grace. That is, if we let him.

A funny, and rather unconventional way to look at it I suppose.

I'm really glad he doesn't send us off to be eaten...cannibalism can be fatal.